tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32918998197507229072024-03-05T08:17:34.020-08:00Things That Are WrongSolomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-85961845527995435102010-03-23T03:00:00.000-07:002011-01-17T02:29:34.114-08:00Jack Chick's 'Doom Town'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghifqvQY4usjETnDumO3sY7jeU6-eanjHkTSPBJJhUU5s4xYi2tmP_k8MCh6FlMLt0xKToO4rtSDBJV-zGLxs1cKDEDKNu_DwbgtOjpmgX-yc4ouOdMvgqk6tH7aRsg1LrQD4MznXjC-Q/s1600-h/0273_01.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghifqvQY4usjETnDumO3sY7jeU6-eanjHkTSPBJJhUU5s4xYi2tmP_k8MCh6FlMLt0xKToO4rtSDBJV-zGLxs1cKDEDKNu_DwbgtOjpmgX-yc4ouOdMvgqk6tH7aRsg1LrQD4MznXjC-Q/s320/0273_01.gif" width="320" /></a></div><br />
"It's that time again!", as Jack is fond of saying to the kids in his local park as he wanders through handing out his creepy tracts. Doom Town is described on Chick's website as "<i>Story of Sodom. Delivers a compassionate plea to repent of homosexuality."</i>, but not only is that a pretty anemic description, it's completely false. If they wanted to be a little more accurate, here's what it'd read:<br />
"<i>Homosexuals are terrorists who will give you AIDS if you don't let them convert your children. Instills fear and loathing in the heterosexual, and attempts to scare homosexuals into turning straight.</i>"<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGnR5q_eFo2tCfRAyU1WWWrOO3idfS6c_Oy_E4RfZGSPkXyskqW9QvDeDUDFAdTx6huJB2ge3HCbbFuqqr2VPcu7bdJ4qiUE60dhlyMxzyKbFCYfMPm_mLgIzp3weJ1uviFZWam7IskAU/s1600-h/0273_02.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGnR5q_eFo2tCfRAyU1WWWrOO3idfS6c_Oy_E4RfZGSPkXyskqW9QvDeDUDFAdTx6huJB2ge3HCbbFuqqr2VPcu7bdJ4qiUE60dhlyMxzyKbFCYfMPm_mLgIzp3weJ1uviFZWam7IskAU/s400/0273_02.gif" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Yeah! Not sure what "<i>OUR </i>CHILDREN" has to do with "AIDS: What You Haven't Been Told", but I assume that it...uh...nope, not a clue. What the shit? Also, say hello and goodbye to the first sign you might actually see at a homosexual rights rally.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEq3Eh9O9Br1ctcgcx9CPTTnyTs7Y7XthOBMgmR7Uc6nGbPGNgo7t6WORWu65wWZZvo0yzKDRwNhRrbMICTR6_3MZ5j8wF4y7il3mmLmtMah0Zj9fI_vgNZCJRPjKgnyneZvcSHxqsY8I/s1600-h/0273_03.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEq3Eh9O9Br1ctcgcx9CPTTnyTs7Y7XthOBMgmR7Uc6nGbPGNgo7t6WORWu65wWZZvo0yzKDRwNhRrbMICTR6_3MZ5j8wF4y7il3mmLmtMah0Zj9fI_vgNZCJRPjKgnyneZvcSHxqsY8I/s400/0273_03.gif" width="400" /></a></div>"Man, dude, blood terrorism! That shit is whack, yo!"<br />
There's a 'reference' to another video by the "AIDS: WYHBT" people, but I imagine it presents no evidence that gay males are really threatening to do this. Probably because it's a stupid plan that only stupid people would come up with, and completely incongruous with the whole 'love and not hate' message these people seem to be supporting. Which I guess is Jack's point, that homosexuals talk about love and acceptance and then go and bomb churches to get attention.<br />
So far as infecting the blood supply with AIDS, though...they actually do checks for that sort of thing, you know? And not just asking if someone has AIDS, they actually use their science (gasp!) to look at the blood and see if there's anything infectious in there. If there is, it gets chucked out. So again, a stupid plan for stupid people that would never work.<br />
Who carries a sign that says 'Celebrate sodomy!'? Really? Are there Christians at anti-gay marches with signs that say 'Celebrate vaginal intercourse!'? Just seems kinda stupid, like the rest of this panel.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKvplCMZqW27qajHCSDbccwa_FngfS6BgEvf9hZO4JAFIwMLi3dmkMsu0MiYvKC_xTlyI8zNOW2QC7H13wzu0hhxdVqj49snTeNUwmh5no2xXkx_myQ-57MuBb5ZNP-93yu7uVuNx1GQ4/s1600-h/0273_04.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKvplCMZqW27qajHCSDbccwa_FngfS6BgEvf9hZO4JAFIwMLi3dmkMsu0MiYvKC_xTlyI8zNOW2QC7H13wzu0hhxdVqj49snTeNUwmh5no2xXkx_myQ-57MuBb5ZNP-93yu7uVuNx1GQ4/s400/0273_04.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Yeah, 'hate is not a family value' and 'so filled with hate' go together like vanilla and icecream. God, these <i>fags</i> are so fucking intolerant!<br />
"Lord, let me at least tell one person they're evil sinning assholes who are going to hell, to prove I love them."<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPAq9LwT-ny0tFnrq9t22dCXvE6rAeyaTZ1KGz_zvngiWv5QUdnqdTLKVlZlp53foUbSANReuUzX0OiVMsUKMDL2N_iHa5ITMfK38PdiqRunO2qlnJwPaO3tuPIWe_OKByMXxjZW0boi0/s1600-h/0273_05.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPAq9LwT-ny0tFnrq9t22dCXvE6rAeyaTZ1KGz_zvngiWv5QUdnqdTLKVlZlp53foUbSANReuUzX0OiVMsUKMDL2N_iHa5ITMfK38PdiqRunO2qlnJwPaO3tuPIWe_OKByMXxjZW0boi0/s400/0273_05.gif" width="400" /></a></div>"What? Is this a <i>Bible thing</i>? And why is it so dark all of a sudden?"<br />
"Hey, I watched your disgusting sinner rally for three hours, commenting on your lack of morals the whole time. At least let me tell you you're going to burn forever!"<br />
"Okay, but <i>don't</i> try to convert me." Well, this young homsexual seems set in his beliefs, so even if this fellow (who has only been referred to as 'man' the whole tract) <i>does</i> try to convert him contrary to his wishes, he won't fall for it, right? Right?<br />
Love the gay stereotype in the corner, there. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeNMDcv9ujSS086_3HdyoH0_9iHslKghmJ8ge0-HYLLlmohx7AwDOVw1UkwHu2yorGjpeWSz8YLscat91WzgfRE4WxLEK09WL4UEPyU2VCnX5GgMcZSghho8OGsscqIrCESCujLVXYPQE/s1600-h/0273_06.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeNMDcv9ujSS086_3HdyoH0_9iHslKghmJ8ge0-HYLLlmohx7AwDOVw1UkwHu2yorGjpeWSz8YLscat91WzgfRE4WxLEK09WL4UEPyU2VCnX5GgMcZSghho8OGsscqIrCESCujLVXYPQE/s400/0273_06.gif" width="400" /></a></div>"God chose a man to change world history. His name was Abraham. But this story isn't actually about him, so you can just forget him for now."<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXmqaQOiAkwULZbThfGl8I-nxJ_I73U899PKwzlvZ-q7e0bW-U5DRSnmJqBh57lJ2QFV_qRfC4ubqzRO4c9pR-ezzLiEuUwGM8GbssSsEsCATjZRHMfE09gFgV284tkz3mXw8u6I-l8KM/s1600-h/0273_07.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXmqaQOiAkwULZbThfGl8I-nxJ_I73U899PKwzlvZ-q7e0bW-U5DRSnmJqBh57lJ2QFV_qRfC4ubqzRO4c9pR-ezzLiEuUwGM8GbssSsEsCATjZRHMfE09gFgV284tkz3mXw8u6I-l8KM/s400/0273_07.gif" width="400" /></a></div>"I <i>want</i> the plains of Jordan!" What is with that <i>emphasis</i>? Was he worried Abraham would get confused and think he meant he <i>didn't</i> want it?<br />
"I want the plains of Jordan! Look at that fucking awesome lizard thing, that beast is huge! Screw cattle, I'm gonna herd those sweet ass things." <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipUl9_Mtokp_Aae6vvITUXWTRshFcG8JDdRQr7TSlYMp6RuPjfm-c9lZsdVivohhv-OQJPt3w9GZtQFnfya59xThgQJLkYV_FmFkAojzDf6iXb_X5iIUL260g9NDN_2S1EQvLHWw7fDY0/s1600-h/0273_08.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipUl9_Mtokp_Aae6vvITUXWTRshFcG8JDdRQr7TSlYMp6RuPjfm-c9lZsdVivohhv-OQJPt3w9GZtQFnfya59xThgQJLkYV_FmFkAojzDf6iXb_X5iIUL260g9NDN_2S1EQvLHWw7fDY0/s400/0273_08.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Lot is getting older with every passing panel.<br />
It certainly doesn't <i>look</i> like the worse mistake he ever made. I mean, Abraham is living in some tent with crappy rags for clothes, and Lot has a proper house and fruit and awesome clothes and a shiny cup, and judging by his age he's obviously been living this sweet life for some time...sounds like a good decision to me!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRup4Uw4GMaWOsFbrK11dzSDiM54InUIbOrNrNZsupgFADPAwhO2Zvr8yay9a7PvVxqOYxOF2884znjnkYMpGa15Yb9GE9DASkbNT1ICrJM3UzTbiYYmbZyyn1sE9i2IXtsSCO0kXTaGo/s1600-h/0273_09.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRup4Uw4GMaWOsFbrK11dzSDiM54InUIbOrNrNZsupgFADPAwhO2Zvr8yay9a7PvVxqOYxOF2884znjnkYMpGa15Yb9GE9DASkbNT1ICrJM3UzTbiYYmbZyyn1sE9i2IXtsSCO0kXTaGo/s400/0273_09.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Ah, I see why it was such a bad decision. That woman in the kissing pair has <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hirsutism">hirsutism</a>, that's pretty gross. Also they have cool statues that give you high fives and, uh, monks chasing children.<br />
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Wait a second, that's not a woman at all!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzdFLXTHd5RdBQCJXVY3RWO0EzhBYEkNGPJhjsAXCP42-QQXxonkb909liUdXXWKXZtsgET8RJ2Yk-j1rIX-5Xq8-Eca0X7d3qj7yDZ5YEwMmBHlv_flc5Y5_TUPmaTWw25-8yNnhoJz0/s1600-h/0273_10.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzdFLXTHd5RdBQCJXVY3RWO0EzhBYEkNGPJhjsAXCP42-QQXxonkb909liUdXXWKXZtsgET8RJ2Yk-j1rIX-5Xq8-Eca0X7d3qj7yDZ5YEwMmBHlv_flc5Y5_TUPmaTWw25-8yNnhoJz0/s400/0273_10.gif" width="400" /></a></div>That passage actually says Lot was distressed by their filthy <i>conversation</i>, which is a bit different. Also, I read all the passages Chick gives as reference, and some more besides, and actually considered them all <i>in context</i> (gasp!), and there is <i>nothing</i> about pedophilia, or even homosexuality in Sodom at all.<br />
<br />
Jack Chick, fabricating information? Say it isn't so!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAfltd-weR4MKozG5Z94GFjxV1FtFuj8L2_aKjzgKuSVLTNPsNHms47QBy9A8QmZIC9JbHvIgFcZeVDakhetfKiQ-EMd7g4nWQNOLaACQWxfxOHM19bSXN5Za7icKEPPtT1xPepryvH7o/s1600-h/0273_11.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAfltd-weR4MKozG5Z94GFjxV1FtFuj8L2_aKjzgKuSVLTNPsNHms47QBy9A8QmZIC9JbHvIgFcZeVDakhetfKiQ-EMd7g4nWQNOLaACQWxfxOHM19bSXN5Za7icKEPPtT1xPepryvH7o/s400/0273_11.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Abraham begs God to spare the city, but does a terrible job of it.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBltVgNboSgEkg2XvYmzQFEwxYL7B0yxzwGQzomFgd29PuhSt3S1mT3U33FQUbFuy9uH5ZgU8eE5RD1nDd-OQ_w3INL2YVWwf9lCUeHYO3cP9L6JJGuHzuW6NahiMTfwYec23eSudtxcg/s1600-h/0273_12.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBltVgNboSgEkg2XvYmzQFEwxYL7B0yxzwGQzomFgd29PuhSt3S1mT3U33FQUbFuy9uH5ZgU8eE5RD1nDd-OQ_w3INL2YVWwf9lCUeHYO3cP9L6JJGuHzuW6NahiMTfwYec23eSudtxcg/s400/0273_12.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Seriously, the whole conversation he has with God goes "Spare it for fifty?"<br />
"Sure."<br />
"How about forty?"<br />
"Sure."<br />
"Twenty?"<br />
"Why not."<br />
"Ten?"<br />
"You bet!"<br />
God obviously wasn't fussed, you'd think Abraham could have bargained him down to say, four righteous people, which would be fulfilled by Lot and his family. Then hey, maybe an entire city wouldn't have had to be destroyed, and thousands killed! Good going, Abraham!<br />
Two angels, appearing as men. Not as angels, which would be much more convincing all around, but as men, because God is oblique in His ways.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU5-1C57UUqvYUeYS6rJ7HuFf2QZ-5GcRwijjB2gqeqBq7qUTo37-xSaK9JUasvnJUUDZDPZ8fC3cPoKosP-Td4E844-ghL1Is54sh43-z0QmuN07kqfZqIFTfkYsC8N9rGVZ916vh7MM/s1600-h/0273_13.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU5-1C57UUqvYUeYS6rJ7HuFf2QZ-5GcRwijjB2gqeqBq7qUTo37-xSaK9JUasvnJUUDZDPZ8fC3cPoKosP-Td4E844-ghL1Is54sh43-z0QmuN07kqfZqIFTfkYsC8N9rGVZ916vh7MM/s400/0273_13.gif" width="400" /></a></div>No, first the angels said they'd stay in the street all night! Jack, have you even <i>read</i> the Bible? Obviously not, because then you'd know there was no mention of rape either! Ha ha, oh the hilarious misunderstandings that come from not even reading your own religious book.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWzFnTfpw2tRiYlYjDhM-qQtCkgT_UHb4Mdqd86B86I2OS5avExapxz_eMEGVnzpR3y3MlZp9cDs6m8VFeEkECxpR-pMEifTN56XGpRNTcQIQuv7p5xVq8eLA-SFh1lax9_D5vc1WfGHI/s1600-h/0273_14.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWzFnTfpw2tRiYlYjDhM-qQtCkgT_UHb4Mdqd86B86I2OS5avExapxz_eMEGVnzpR3y3MlZp9cDs6m8VFeEkECxpR-pMEifTN56XGpRNTcQIQuv7p5xVq8eLA-SFh1lax9_D5vc1WfGHI/s400/0273_14.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Straight from Chick's favorite version, Genesis 19:4-5<br />
"But before they lay down, the men of the city, [even] the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:<br />
And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where [are] the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them."<br />
Which is where all the confusion comes from. Some theologians take 'know' to mean 'totally sex up' and some of them take 'know' to mean 'interrogate in an inhospitable manner', but it definitely doesn't say 'bring them out unto us, that we may rape them'.<br />
Lot <i>does</i> perform the incredibly dick move of offering up his virgin daughters to placate the angry mob, which I've got to say would be enough to make <i>me </i>want to leave home, if I was them.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpR2Eyv55arPIKq8IcE15vOCAe0T86m-XUVk2GRL4ZqrvibDLNvUfPCzw7Okf8sFXeP_B_4-Qmq53cGFQUOxkwOM0sZx41v-rYAQaKlTotDke9iFYZ4yGmQC5shFJyA_yMIFCP8_hTxnA/s1600-h/0273_15.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpR2Eyv55arPIKq8IcE15vOCAe0T86m-XUVk2GRL4ZqrvibDLNvUfPCzw7Okf8sFXeP_B_4-Qmq53cGFQUOxkwOM0sZx41v-rYAQaKlTotDke9iFYZ4yGmQC5shFJyA_yMIFCP8_hTxnA/s400/0273_15.gif" width="400" /></a></div>I'm not sure if that's a turban or a hairstyle on the one second from the right, but whatever it is made me choke on my drink when I spotted it. Also damn, the Sodom people are an ugly bunch. Yet another reason not to live there - ugly people and future ugly children.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBneTU7bGBEbO0inGxnJMMswNQoLUAqCkpYMBcjuCetqyW7Vt2aWCwLz_sR06Ufg9gteHYBZojKDb6hW1Osh_MxCF3nrOnqtD_x9XBMpudZLaFD2lg08nkglDe8D1RzmFtnbQbtL-qK-s/s1600-h/0273_16.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBneTU7bGBEbO0inGxnJMMswNQoLUAqCkpYMBcjuCetqyW7Vt2aWCwLz_sR06Ufg9gteHYBZojKDb6hW1Osh_MxCF3nrOnqtD_x9XBMpudZLaFD2lg08nkglDe8D1RzmFtnbQbtL-qK-s/s400/0273_16.gif" width="400" /></a></div>BLINDED the lust-filled mob. And then they got tired...so they left. Seems a bit anticlimactic.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFxTapWG6GrlhJ3yBU_mZylkzqAuMCxs38ZJ601NDMfXLidq66n0rT-tD9TO2yFbiTAknuMYVksOVqY3E71bZ8202HXDGcTbGvRPjLzdPFCiE7guC6p9yoiqGJ1GXx6jtYae3Q_mpbia8/s1600-h/0273_17.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFxTapWG6GrlhJ3yBU_mZylkzqAuMCxs38ZJ601NDMfXLidq66n0rT-tD9TO2yFbiTAknuMYVksOVqY3E71bZ8202HXDGcTbGvRPjLzdPFCiE7guC6p9yoiqGJ1GXx6jtYae3Q_mpbia8/s400/0273_17.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Now this is something that is interesting - why doesn't God do this any more? Not blow up cities, since we're all total sinning assholes that would end poorly, but forcibly intervene in people's lives? Where are the angels that enter soon-to-be-bombed embassies and shove people out? It wasn't a problem in the past, so why not any more?<br />
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Then after that, Lot's wife turns into a pillar of salt, and his two daughters get him drunk and raped <i>him</i>, presumably in return for trying to hand them over to a mob.(Genesis 19:31-38)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlEQOXEuLrvHFovLb0Uaa82AgqYJOSV8allCjv18q1qNQuOUpoP5aP9f0RCjQFojUZ3Fv14Vd1u8W2lRkNqFUSyZHraZK2UQmHzc5SMr05xBTS-zxYRE6ALxlkNwkZMiOrd9hyphenhyphenTibQ85o/s1600-h/0273_19.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlEQOXEuLrvHFovLb0Uaa82AgqYJOSV8allCjv18q1qNQuOUpoP5aP9f0RCjQFojUZ3Fv14Vd1u8W2lRkNqFUSyZHraZK2UQmHzc5SMr05xBTS-zxYRE6ALxlkNwkZMiOrd9hyphenhyphenTibQ85o/s400/0273_19.gif" width="400" /></a></div>God is an asshole slave lord, and if you rebel he will torture you forever. Although...witchcraft, like Christianity, isn't true either, so I guess no one can be guilty of the sin of witchcraft, and thus you can't be guilty of rebellion either? Sounds like the sort of logic Chick would use, so it must be right!<br />
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Hey, Leviticus!<br />
18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. <br />
20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.<br />
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Of course, no Christian observes all or even most of the Leviticus laws, and they'll give you neat examples of how '<a href="http://raycomfortfood.blogspot.com/2010/02/red-lobster-ray-really-leviticus-1112.html">they don't apply</a>'...except for the gay bashing ones, of course. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoJRL0ehOhX_CEJSIXEFYqlO9lRi61N-yPECCs9f9opqjQ6Ewvn4ViDZmRG9GDOeAzLz3UPAES8rAC8NHkusr_4HOixNXy334uQZd-oIFK-6946HfvzMOvODwrGeyW855XwbZdVs-LQS8/s1600-h/0273_20.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoJRL0ehOhX_CEJSIXEFYqlO9lRi61N-yPECCs9f9opqjQ6Ewvn4ViDZmRG9GDOeAzLz3UPAES8rAC8NHkusr_4HOixNXy334uQZd-oIFK-6946HfvzMOvODwrGeyW855XwbZdVs-LQS8/s400/0273_20.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Man, you aren't even listening to the Bible passages you're quoting to back you up! It says <i>right there</i> to kill all male homosexuals, so I don't see how you could possibly care about them. Not to mention that your 'caring' is telling them they'll be tortured eternally unless they follow your religion!<br />
Hey, gotta say that this Christian guy maybe shouldn't be hanging out around gay rallies - he's looking pretty rugged right there. Surprised his victim hasn't hit on him yet.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ7ZQ0KyCC5GEazAj5pV_d2FVCaKnGvw2-YG_wGIEQpx0eZUPE0b2u_YfA4ScKuc09CGx2vkW4Xq58q9ZfAZRHRepmwstoWR7EtCz6rhiUrHrFYU_O6VWeN7-_YoHU_LSzu-EkdYN3NMI/s1600-h/0273_21.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ7ZQ0KyCC5GEazAj5pV_d2FVCaKnGvw2-YG_wGIEQpx0eZUPE0b2u_YfA4ScKuc09CGx2vkW4Xq58q9ZfAZRHRepmwstoWR7EtCz6rhiUrHrFYU_O6VWeN7-_YoHU_LSzu-EkdYN3NMI/s400/0273_21.gif" width="400" /></a></div>God <i>loved </i>homosexuals <i>so much</i> that he destroyed an entire city to get rid of some of them! And he wrote that you should kill them! And he defaults to torturing them forever! What a loving God!<br />
There's Jesus, curing homosexuality up on the cross there. Not sure where those two other guys are, but whatever. And <b>hey</b>, he can cure lying and hypocrisy! Chick, maybe <i>you</i> should trust in Jesus, then you'd finally stop writing these disgusting tracts!<br />
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I like to read this one as 'The ONLY way to escape the sin of homosexuality is through Jesus Christ...therefore everyone who hasn't accepted Jesus Christ is a homosexual.".<br />
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That's it for today!Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-63763373949123123752010-03-15T18:35:00.000-07:002010-03-16T16:01:25.288-07:00Why You Should Kiss Hank's Butt:Here's a nice little dialogue: <a href="http://nakedatheists.blogspot.com/2010/01/allow-me-to-introduce-hank.html">Allow Me To Introduce Hank...</a> <br />
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It certainly makes me want to go around door to door and try and convert people to kissing Hank's butt! After all, if you do, he'll give you a million dollars - and if you don't, he'll kick the crap out of you! You have <i>everything to gain</i> and <i>nothing to lose</i>!Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-86518619763438578822010-03-13T18:52:00.000-08:002010-03-16T16:00:59.983-07:00Infinitely More Loving Than God Yet another <a href="http://raycomfortfood.blogspot.com/2010/03/ultimate-dichotomy.html">comment I made on one of Ray Comfort's blog posts.</a> It does seem like a bit of a trend as of late, but my motivation to work on this blog is powered by just how incensed I am about any particular topic, and I haven't really had any experiences with a lot of the other things I plan to cover, recently.<br />
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We violated God's Law when he made two people with no knowledge of right or wrong, then put down a tree that contained that knowledge and told them it would be wrong to eat it.<br />
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And because two people who the Bible admits didn't know right from wrong did something that they were told was 'wrong', a meaningless concept to them, we're tortured forever as the default.<br />
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Why do we have to believe in Jesus for God to forgive us? Why is God's love conditional? So limited? I can forgive people for things without having them put absolute trust in me. In fact, if I was the final arbiter on whether or not people were tortured eternally, I wouldn't send a single person to that fate. How am I so much more loving than God? Considering that God defaults you to an <i>infinite</i> amount of pain, and I would not, it's fairly obviously that I, a mere mortal, am <i>infinitely</i> more loving than God.Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-49115746062558602332010-03-08T09:24:00.000-08:002010-03-16T16:00:34.191-07:00Those Tricky Atheists!Before I begin, let me mention that I've joined the Atheist Blogroll - which should be visible on the side of the page.<br />
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Now,<a href="http://raycomfortfood.blogspot.com/2010/03/clever-atheist.html"> a post from our friend Ray</a> - I was 'lucky' enough to stumble across it before anyone else had gotten a chance to comment, so here's my take:<br />
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<b>Solomon posted:</b> You missed out on 'Sore', 'Sop', 'Death', 'Swamp', and probably more I didn't find.<br />
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Anyway...what's the point here, exactly? Are you admitting to a belief in Santa? Do you deny he leaves presents for good boys and girls? <br />
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You've also misquoted the argument, which is a question directed at <i>you</i>.<br />
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You tell us that we can't <i>know</i> that God doesn't exist, and therefore he must, so since you can't <i>know</i> that Santa doesn't exist, you must believe in him.<br />
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I can't <i>prove</i> that Santa doesn't exist, but I have a lot of very compelling evidence that he doesn't, and I'd say with 99.999 repeating percent certainty that he doesn't.<br />
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Likewise, I can't <i>prove</i> that your God doesn't exist, but I have a lot of very compelling evidence that he doesn't, and I'd say with 99.999 repeating percent certainty that he doesn't.<br />
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In fact, if it came down to believing in one or the other, I'd be more inclined to believe in Santa, who at least gives bad children coal for their disobedience, instead of eternal flaming torture.<br />
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To construct an analogy with slightly more truth to it than yours, the atheist is like a man who is given the choice between a number of parachutes, most with someone close by claiming that <i>their</i> parachute is the only one that works. <br />
The atheist may or may not look at their parachutes and notice that they're full of holes, and he may or may not be intimidated by those that claim that picking the wrong parachute will not only result in his death but his eternal torture.<br />
Then the atheist says "Why do I need to jump out of this plane anyway?", and stays on board with all the other rational people, while the religious (which includes Christians, Ray ;)) jump out of the plane, away from all the sin and evil that the rational passengers obviously harbour.Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-14785229583109897302010-03-05T02:19:00.000-08:002010-03-05T02:22:56.584-08:00Pornogaphy<p>Something that I posted on <a href="http://raycomfortfood.blogspot.com/2010/03/bibles-for-porn.html">Ray Comfort's blog</a> - not the entirety of my feelings on the matter, but perhaps sufficient.</p><p><b>Solomon posted:</b></p><p>Rock Sprites, you must be of singularly weak mind and constitution if you have seriously been 'hurt' by pornography.<br /><br />Besides that, this sounds like a great idea to bring to universities in Melbourne - I'll start calling around today!<br /><br />Porn for Bibles, what a concept! Thanks, Ray!<br /></p><p><strong>Rock Sprites posted:</strong></p><p><i>Yes, thank you for that. I'm sorry that members of my own family would get off to it and then feel the need to molest me when I was a child. Thank you. I appreciate your sympathy.<br /><br />That tends to hurt a kid, don't you think? I was very susceptible to pornography when I was a kid because of this. It's painful that people are so uneducated in this area. You cannot do whatever you want without other people being hurt. I guess this is a separate idea. I don't like to rant in comments, either. This is just a very touchy subject for me.<br /><br />I don't suppose we can convince people of much over the internet, which is why I usually just refrain from commenting here altogether. I would just like to be an example, I guess. It makes me sad when people claim that pornography doesn't hurt people. There are many people who are addicted to it and need support in order to overcome it. Look it up, please, as I am not allowed to post links here.<br /><br />I understand that many atrocities have been committed in the name of Chirstianity throughout the ages, and are still being committed today in the name of God. It makes me miserable to see charlatans like Benny Hinn, Todd Bently, and Paula White making millions of dollars off of the unsuspecting public.<br /><br />But these people are not following the example of Christ. They are only concerned with the things of this world, with having material things and power. And it destroys people. It hurts people.<br /><br />To encourage young people to trade in their Bibles for porn is so sad and shallow. I'd rather see more gentlemen in the world than have to worry about whether or not my boyfriend is going to be looking at porn when I'm not around. Men and women are not objects. If people think that the Bible is so horrible, why replace it with something like this? It makes no sense.</i><br /></p><p><strong>Solomon posted:</strong><br /><br />I understand that many atrocities are committed by people who have also viewed pornography - but these people are mentally unbalanced to begin with. Nothing innate in pornography causes you to go out and molest people.<br /><br />I assumed your admission of harm was talking of your own adult experiences - I'm sorry that you suffered child abuse, but blaming pornography for the depravity of your family members is a dangerous thing - to allow people to say 'I'm not a child molester, I was under the influence of pornography' is allowing them to pass off responsibility onto something that doesn't deserve nearly as much bad press as it gets.<br /><br />I looked it up as you suggested, and it comes across as something that the jury is very much out on. 'Addiction' to pornography has no chemical basis such as usually characterize an addiction, besides a potential Pavlovian conditioning to the pleasurable aspects.<br />The evidence for a condition of addiction to pornography has <i>significantly</i> less evidence backing it up than evolution. If you don't think evolution is true or that it lacks sufficient evidence, you can't possibly believe in an addiction to pornography - you might as well be saying "I don't believe that the ground is solid, but I do believe that leprechauns sprinkle magic dust in my eyes to make me sleepy, with the evidence being the gunk in your eyes when you wake up."<br /><br />So again, your history of child abuse is tragic, but pornography didn't molest you, your parents did.<br /></p>Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-92028665214107778312010-03-02T16:50:00.000-08:002010-03-16T15:59:49.674-07:00Jack Chick's 'No Fear?'<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiODXPFgMEIgLLShRPWm1TWeogs-3ARfut5rFsi3D5fJ2aJfEZUtStNuF8pYay6spmE26gRBxQsyNzMsX4eFcDgrP_qtStLKg_huJOsDE-PZqoQk662H36EF936_NcGjWC4rRBUK1hlnZo/s1600-h/0052_01.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205546164148994" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiODXPFgMEIgLLShRPWm1TWeogs-3ARfut5rFsi3D5fJ2aJfEZUtStNuF8pYay6spmE26gRBxQsyNzMsX4eFcDgrP_qtStLKg_huJOsDE-PZqoQk662H36EF936_NcGjWC4rRBUK1hlnZo/s400/0052_01.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 141px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 239px;" /></a><br />
<blockquote>Suicide...The subject is common among teens today. But when Lance decides it is the only way out of his troubles, he discovers that hell is not the party place described in popular songs.</blockquote>Neither I nor my roommate have ever heard any songs describe hell as a 'party place'...maybe we're just not listening to the right songs?<br />
Even if songs did describe hell as a party place, only a complete moron would actually believe that a) The singer had actual knowledge of hell and b) hell is not fictional. Jack Chick does believe that witches and the like have <i>real </i>powers, though, so maybe he believes musicians <i>really do</i> receive inspiration from Satan.<br />
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Hey, if it wasn't for the spoiler in the summary of this tract, I'd say this was about two Christian youths finally coming to terms with their budding sexuality and entering the wondrous world of masturbation. And taking the horror stories about hairy palms and getting struck by lightning a little too seriously. And one of them has a death fetish?<br />
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"Dolly...I've had it! These two ghosts are annoying as fuck, and I'm calling Ghostbusters tomorrow!"<br />
Anyway, NO FEAR would be two <i>names. </i><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg82C7HtbJ7Ew5f-puM09BxqFW_psMcCOg1mGIbsRSp-35mfrD5dgTUsHMSh6o3Cquk0IhdTPhOudKvLhtQ1nzxjjrp1k8IQ81dMTQw_Mg9niZJnq9rcx3efvFzN3oiyPpjGzxYn9iVQmc/s1600-h/0052_03.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205380245943826" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg82C7HtbJ7Ew5f-puM09BxqFW_psMcCOg1mGIbsRSp-35mfrD5dgTUsHMSh6o3Cquk0IhdTPhOudKvLhtQ1nzxjjrp1k8IQ81dMTQw_Mg9niZJnq9rcx3efvFzN3oiyPpjGzxYn9iVQmc/s400/0052_03.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"What? I said you can't tell <i>anyone</i>, are you deaf? I'm sure glad I'll be dead soon and won't have to hang out with such an idiot."<br />
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Damn, he's got the 'NO FEAR!' shirt and everything. This is a guy who isn't afraid of anything. Not even afraid to cry, apparently. Maybe that pox-ridden demon just has really bad garlic breath or something - "Dolly, suicide's the ONLY answer to this disgusting smell that follows me everywhere and can't be masked by anything!"<br />
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Bed seems a bit close to the window, there. Maybe? That panel has some serious space-warping issues. She seems far too tall to fit on her bed, too. <br />
I thought they were going to that party place, hell? That aside, of course he doesn't know - no one does. The religious (like Christians) pretend they do, but they're really just trying to mask the terror they feel about death. Like as not, there's nothing after you die - and not in the 'blank void' sense, in the 'your brain is dead so you can't experience anything anymore' sense.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdQuC3kW2XLEfgTNn4nvy2BUQ7yIiwUzCRuMvyrvGFxrw-yBCpbMKmz-EKoOdnrbX3ctRpqpAm9HUUqsfF5rTjki8IBdOW_9umYxV4WfseIgMaXwp-yvIvTVJZJPKwexUsyRv6o0YItoM/s1600-h/0052_05.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205365720068930" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdQuC3kW2XLEfgTNn4nvy2BUQ7yIiwUzCRuMvyrvGFxrw-yBCpbMKmz-EKoOdnrbX3ctRpqpAm9HUUqsfF5rTjki8IBdOW_9umYxV4WfseIgMaXwp-yvIvTVJZJPKwexUsyRv6o0YItoM/s400/0052_05.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Judging by the darkness in the second panel, I'm guessing he tied the rope to the light fitting. Anyway, what is up with these demons? Does he hear them? If not, why are they constantly commenting on everything he does and giving him encouragements? Does Jack Chick really believe people who commit suicide are literally goaded into it by demons?<br />
<br />
Still wearing the same shirt and pants. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgS36bcmlYErW5MS2nd5D0t55DZSikAsrHUYTnlorxF-PCFWIfPj4tiHzwWI4R6FETA0eSg3WGTSjvHDCdmNTYYgq9GcohXhmI-D74mRvS1vbRQSoljQvU84Vpsr8FZd8UsMAwCGuSWSE/s1600-h/0052_06.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205357226938434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgS36bcmlYErW5MS2nd5D0t55DZSikAsrHUYTnlorxF-PCFWIfPj4tiHzwWI4R6FETA0eSg3WGTSjvHDCdmNTYYgq9GcohXhmI-D74mRvS1vbRQSoljQvU84Vpsr8FZd8UsMAwCGuSWSE/s400/0052_06.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"Where am I? <i>And why am I naked?</i>"<br />
<br />
Demons are just sort of hanging out in front of that flame-shaped backdrop, discussing things.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghoHhtSqmtX0TswGizksJI9vtwVNnEe3EDaFqwlf3irWaa61yqX55LlHrhvXq-QMGpHDPF5TVADAmlthglmfDTyaAcJyx4-Pw4l6mtee6QaZrQE2YTQyQUO3GWDjUmvSbr7pUMBifPVZE/s1600-h/0052_07.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205348144942722" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghoHhtSqmtX0TswGizksJI9vtwVNnEe3EDaFqwlf3irWaa61yqX55LlHrhvXq-QMGpHDPF5TVADAmlthglmfDTyaAcJyx4-Pw4l6mtee6QaZrQE2YTQyQUO3GWDjUmvSbr7pUMBifPVZE/s400/0052_07.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 204px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
It wasn't supposed to happen like this? You said you didn't know or care what happened, and now you suddenly had big expectations? <br />
<br />
"Oh man, it is <i>hot</i> in here. My pores are literally spitting sweat!" Can souls sweat?<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhME2UXziIYx5Cye67PE1wIWi_40zpwM2P7GjF43phTFkcNrlIypSOZZP-W9sj3-30RiWbu2qMCuQOVN1j1Orqdv9k3Hg3l9h2-UJbUA-BakPdZSV9_ROoTY1PHe6AQj3B9rMo7xHm0XHA/s1600-h/0052_08.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205100820785906" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhME2UXziIYx5Cye67PE1wIWi_40zpwM2P7GjF43phTFkcNrlIypSOZZP-W9sj3-30RiWbu2qMCuQOVN1j1Orqdv9k3Hg3l9h2-UJbUA-BakPdZSV9_ROoTY1PHe6AQj3B9rMo7xHm0XHA/s400/0052_08.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 211px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
So suicide is okay if you believe in Jesus. And everyone who believes in Jesus seems to think the world is falling apart and the end days are coming. Hey guys, why not commit suicide and get to heaven early? It's GOTTA be better than this, right?<br />
<br />
Forgive my trivializing suicide, but Jack does a much better job of it in a second.<br />
"AAAAAH..."<br />
"..."<br />
"...my leg's on fire!"<br />
I just love how surprised yet calm he seems. Like "Woah! Hey, my leg's on fire, ouch. Somebody help, please!"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDxd-Vr_3CmAqUooC_Fhd5CQx1blFJSggxi2RKb0-jS-BfT3GFfZjOtQlYo3fki-p_q-DGAUXdJqRnhZogGDgggbPzVSCXAiebPAleeN53-PcNfZNItIaiR5upCwQ3KiyRLLsGpkGVOw0/s1600-h/0052_09.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205094988179570" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDxd-Vr_3CmAqUooC_Fhd5CQx1blFJSggxi2RKb0-jS-BfT3GFfZjOtQlYo3fki-p_q-DGAUXdJqRnhZogGDgggbPzVSCXAiebPAleeN53-PcNfZNItIaiR5upCwQ3KiyRLLsGpkGVOw0/s400/0052_09.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 210px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"This is even hotter than before! And strangely darker! I can't stand it!"<br />
<br />
"I'm burning! Just letting you know, because it's REALLY dark now!" Also, he can scream while talking. Or maybe it's the demon doing the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sarYH0z948">CSI: Miami punchline scream.</a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxxGv67tgyp05QajDu_E1x4vF8m64m3VIzWtKebU-vLOnxI6XeZn5VdUERMPn_MduXshiI9zUBt9G-u1iuJXcPyy9kutPgW6-QjkU1dm3eA-s_qE9NYhWOOKruXpthqupPuX5t9I7pHgg/s1600-h/0052_10.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205090676098882" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxxGv67tgyp05QajDu_E1x4vF8m64m3VIzWtKebU-vLOnxI6XeZn5VdUERMPn_MduXshiI9zUBt9G-u1iuJXcPyy9kutPgW6-QjkU1dm3eA-s_qE9NYhWOOKruXpthqupPuX5t9I7pHgg/s400/0052_10.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Meanwhile, meaning Lance's funeral was scheduled for immediately after he committed suicide. You'd think someone would have been suspicious when he started making arrangements for his own funeral. <br />
<br />
I love the pretend suspense here: "Let's Go!" "Please God, let us get to Dolly in time!" *SCREEECH* "There's the house...but <i>I don't have my keys!</i>" "Not to mention that if this car goes under 55 miles per hour, the BOMB in Lance's casket will go off!"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0KmrsMRC6WEa0y8W9Aqs5lp0ZkNmvRXDLeq3ZC5aGdznCc6LAT7qw9YAEOs2nAvNY26n1UwzzQYLYgpI8Ift7vIDROYQhBMizfXaaMRwrmtPzqfa7bOwVXhwNf_4c4HkstVvtxyRQo9U/s1600-h/0052_11.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205080474316738" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0KmrsMRC6WEa0y8W9Aqs5lp0ZkNmvRXDLeq3ZC5aGdznCc6LAT7qw9YAEOs2nAvNY26n1UwzzQYLYgpI8Ift7vIDROYQhBMizfXaaMRwrmtPzqfa7bOwVXhwNf_4c4HkstVvtxyRQo9U/s400/0052_11.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Action preacher hates doors! Good thing the surprise of having the door bashed in didn't cause the precariously balanced Dolly to fall!<br />
<br />
There's a lot of things wrong with how he's busting in here, too: he'd have had to kick it unreasonably hard for it to come off the hinges like that and not just swing inwards, not to mention a lot higher for it to fall in top first like that. The way he's kicking, he's likely to pull something or at least fall over immediately after this panel ends.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYDP_EjNPD4Ob94pFg3RsGvx6IKA1sQsHE6uhdKcKp60J-C7Ia00jG_TSgOkgYVm0NSVyd0ExXvnmJ7oS6bqpM8SeZMX0tWy-fCi-vQ3Y5TCFr4jlUt0xBtj12CR0UEW5RmHG36C7tB48/s1600-h/0052_12.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444205078635216530" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYDP_EjNPD4Ob94pFg3RsGvx6IKA1sQsHE6uhdKcKp60J-C7Ia00jG_TSgOkgYVm0NSVyd0ExXvnmJ7oS6bqpM8SeZMX0tWy-fCi-vQ3Y5TCFr4jlUt0xBtj12CR0UEW5RmHG36C7tB48/s400/0052_12.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"What do you mean? And how did my head get out of that noose so easily? And why is it at my height when I'm standing on the floor? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of using it to break my neck?"<br />
<br />
"You were <i>seconds</i> from the flames of <b>HELL!</b>" <br />
See, preacher man admits that you go to hell seconds after you die, so Lance obviously had to fall straight from his noose into an open casket at a graveyard for that 'Meanwhile...' to make any sense. Damn it, Jack, you're usually more consistent than this!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHpL8bexRkfZqi0JTZaBwotpMwqbWPWb4VmJOcN23uDeP1Jdv1u2b6n6FIVx12YzQWLtNvektIfOk1GAn0lcO80ij27LZMFt2KqnCql_Q60u0opIS5DyizwDZd8x3U6QdnuJZoSctxbq4/s1600-h/0052_13.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444204742823760354" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHpL8bexRkfZqi0JTZaBwotpMwqbWPWb4VmJOcN23uDeP1Jdv1u2b6n6FIVx12YzQWLtNvektIfOk1GAn0lcO80ij27LZMFt2KqnCql_Q60u0opIS5DyizwDZd8x3U6QdnuJZoSctxbq4/s400/0052_13.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 207px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"But Lance and I thought suicide would end <i>all </i>our problems. And I guess I still do, since I still believe that hell is one big party."<br />
<br />
"Let me tell you the <b><i>SHOCKING TRUTH</i></b> about this fictional place which some guys in the Middle East just made up to scare idiots into believing in their god. Listen to this incredible proof I have, from this book written by those same guys!"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiTgZeiJ7yxHcBdtV64CHsLhXqAWsIemZcwFQCpKkiyzweXhg1OvQ7turF-N39TlGboYflf2p7SXMy93BLG1lLwWZaYCfXseeKkaggYgmGS60kf26SoN4LOzrIuStRlj7959JWMan0SYI/s1600-h/0052_14.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444204735770360466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiTgZeiJ7yxHcBdtV64CHsLhXqAWsIemZcwFQCpKkiyzweXhg1OvQ7turF-N39TlGboYflf2p7SXMy93BLG1lLwWZaYCfXseeKkaggYgmGS60kf26SoN4LOzrIuStRlj7959JWMan0SYI/s400/0052_14.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Just as an aside, Ray Comfort said on his blog at one point, in response to "How can a loving God send people to eternal torment?" that it wasn't eternal in our sense of the word, since God would take away time. Doesn't quite seem like the Bible thinks the same thing. No, I'm definitely getting a 'God is an asshole' vibe from these references.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFFb2jiqyxGDIECtPZlwX2iXBxYeuAgKoFhtd3ISQ2-ZBrfSvcY7UkS-NuzjcbOgTWZwvDJKbvXCXY81jN4dbtECHU0Dz0gHFnNJiIbDPj9UF-MVXoMWoaqCiHntfAulzryd7vhe3d0qA/s1600-h/0052_15.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444204729628000946" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFFb2jiqyxGDIECtPZlwX2iXBxYeuAgKoFhtd3ISQ2-ZBrfSvcY7UkS-NuzjcbOgTWZwvDJKbvXCXY81jN4dbtECHU0Dz0gHFnNJiIbDPj9UF-MVXoMWoaqCiHntfAulzryd7vhe3d0qA/s400/0052_15.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Say goodbye to Lance and any concern for him, since after this panel he's never mentioned again. Way to remember the guy who's dead, guys. Just skip the funeral, too.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirg45eX7seuiBHV1T1o0jzZNx-ma42ns3uKwzw2ZdfoVOl893hpmgaTpfAe3FEoM9tSHHbNNuMOclEilKRLsl3AOMWKVbsjEvUOcARSgcQuJt61wbyc65iNkEJ_verUZ7Gi56HUQJz2lk/s1600-h/0052_16.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444204724039324738" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirg45eX7seuiBHV1T1o0jzZNx-ma42ns3uKwzw2ZdfoVOl893hpmgaTpfAe3FEoM9tSHHbNNuMOclEilKRLsl3AOMWKVbsjEvUOcARSgcQuJt61wbyc65iNkEJ_verUZ7Gi56HUQJz2lk/s400/0052_16.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"<i><b>Then I've been LIED TO!</b></i> I mean, assuming you're not just lying to me now, which is perfectly possible. I mean, you haven't given me any real proof at all, just told me some things and said that they're true. Man, I'm gullible. I'll probably listen to another rock song tomorrow and decide to kill myself again."<br />
<br />
It's pretty impressive, too, that <i>millions</i> of people have believed the tragic lie of 'hell is a party', and I'd never even heard of the concept prior to Jack Chick telling me.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8CG5LVCaTCSXejsdtW1qvECaGRbM_pd7HJYBeAexmOYGlsJqBAP9u8pvq5Ct3jt-7DW6VLDko-nnXTLXLLr4BoXqxe43RyPAeT1zvlEe6LOZsTzF2o6AM1zzQ5pfRXChVbb483wCnQXg/s1600-h/0052_17.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444204722289597858" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8CG5LVCaTCSXejsdtW1qvECaGRbM_pd7HJYBeAexmOYGlsJqBAP9u8pvq5Ct3jt-7DW6VLDko-nnXTLXLLr4BoXqxe43RyPAeT1zvlEe6LOZsTzF2o6AM1zzQ5pfRXChVbb483wCnQXg/s400/0052_17.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"Dolly...we ALL deserve to go to hell because we are ALL sinners. And God is an asshole who can't just love us unconditionally, like a parent loves a child. God demands a meaningless and arbitrary trust in him, in order to save us from the eternal torment that he decided to make our default afterlife, because of this one time when he gave some retarded people some fruit and told them not to eat it, and then they did."<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmUw5b4jR9R43mqaAqgIv6kPaYK-BavjJRigN1LzTZlUu-qgjnSA5sns5AvqPRhacrlt7u9Vzqe982wK6YPPyWH0SVbx9Bmx1G0d0nBxalKh9PZlCzZ_sN9mP1kKhJHPsjbfin5W9HzFE/s1600-h/0052_18.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444204004006081890" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmUw5b4jR9R43mqaAqgIv6kPaYK-BavjJRigN1LzTZlUu-qgjnSA5sns5AvqPRhacrlt7u9Vzqe982wK6YPPyWH0SVbx9Bmx1G0d0nBxalKh9PZlCzZ_sN9mP1kKhJHPsjbfin5W9HzFE/s400/0052_18.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 204px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"And here it is. Now just get down on your knees like I showed you, and put it in your mouth."<br />
<br />
Sorry, but that face is not a proper expression for 'God gave us a gift', it's a 'I've never seen an old priest's penis before.'<br />
And it just gets worse from here, I'm pretty sure Jack Chick has some subconscious fantasies that are playing out in this tract.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7wP8O0FqukmYmfiFnYmbpVcVSCcTz7OMU0Aa1_YoxE5SV5UpZbviMtVGDEMsg81zb-oJFPDf-rmc7rQ4j7lnf5WFH7tDLzwAvt_WD25013NEvH66jva0IWPjZECbh25zTh7bIi8Uw2oM/s1600-h/0052_19.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444204000051733746" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7wP8O0FqukmYmfiFnYmbpVcVSCcTz7OMU0Aa1_YoxE5SV5UpZbviMtVGDEMsg81zb-oJFPDf-rmc7rQ4j7lnf5WFH7tDLzwAvt_WD25013NEvH66jva0IWPjZECbh25zTh7bIi8Uw2oM/s400/0052_19.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Jesus: "I finally finished my revolutionary chiropractic bed! My spine has <i>never felt straighter</i>, guys. Just listen to these testimonials!"<br />
<br />
Guy on Cross One: "Ugghhh..."<br />
Guy on Cross Three: "...*twitch*"<br />
Jesus: "JUST AMAZING!"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7vIFjhvMeM7PHO7KZ_MiwMC_-s4jbeUCuz12Z-4Nj7l3kAMXryZlnAGjpgxafGfe5ymeSOjhV2sh5-rrCmTC6lOAVj7g5YNZqDRxPf-vpUWsA6_EAVShOY7tbrZuC6rZ9Z77rkPuSAkE/s1600-h/0052_20.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444203994481162242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7vIFjhvMeM7PHO7KZ_MiwMC_-s4jbeUCuz12Z-4Nj7l3kAMXryZlnAGjpgxafGfe5ymeSOjhV2sh5-rrCmTC6lOAVj7g5YNZqDRxPf-vpUWsA6_EAVShOY7tbrZuC6rZ9Z77rkPuSAkE/s400/0052_20.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Ran out of interesting angles inside, so here's Fang and a pair of ghost demons. They're waiting for the demon bus or something, I suppose.<br />
<br />
You can't look at that right hand panel and tell me it doesn't look like the face of a broken and sexually abused child. There is something seriously wrong going on here.<br />
"So Jesus Christ died to pay for all my dirty sins. Like what I just did to the preacher when he threatened to tell my parents I'd tried to commit suicide."<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-0Xx3Y14EAcXyYI5AcUR8bciKEdGaHYftNmD0Cp76vUCyl4bjs3l5YVtguwXsvChUtQWgPYlSCPj-_xkXdcXO6TLTtISmvJOgMRkgHObCD7DlCs4lH_bE4BgcrrrrwcWSw2T1Gme11_0/s1600-h/0052_21.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444203986370398658" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-0Xx3Y14EAcXyYI5AcUR8bciKEdGaHYftNmD0Cp76vUCyl4bjs3l5YVtguwXsvChUtQWgPYlSCPj-_xkXdcXO6TLTtISmvJOgMRkgHObCD7DlCs4lH_bE4BgcrrrrwcWSw2T1Gme11_0/s400/0052_21.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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"Ungh! That's great work, girls. Just like God promised us in the Bible, you'll be sure to get eternal life for this!"<br />
"You've scared me into accepting your faith as my own! I'm so terrified of hell, I'm willing to endure what was apparently a pretty terrible life in order to avoid an imaginary far worse punishment!"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBrq1ZfD4TwD-S2d-A0pnfkteezQLoC5FF4QUa5A7vVEcr64xw2qgw5aSjfPZKpofbgIuhfR2cVc7u6_atV3quuAgpjViG1kSexf_XsMq8EUKMGR_uxcsCk4R7dPZWOKoaEhz9n9TsBLI/s1600-h/0052_22.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444203980881902962" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBrq1ZfD4TwD-S2d-A0pnfkteezQLoC5FF4QUa5A7vVEcr64xw2qgw5aSjfPZKpofbgIuhfR2cVc7u6_atV3quuAgpjViG1kSexf_XsMq8EUKMGR_uxcsCk4R7dPZWOKoaEhz9n9TsBLI/s400/0052_22.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<br />
Jesus comes in your heart, not in your mouth. Not sure if that's better or worse.<br />
"Just think, preacher! The day my friend Lance died and you convinced me that he's burning for eternity because Jesus is a giant dickhead, is the day I got eternal life! Hooray for dead Lance!"<br />
Still looking like they've just had a traumatic experience, here.<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444204382078536962" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcq_b9r3n6oymUPtLOQ3HbAAtQewHs5pxN2L2dGYRKNm-TdmmnOs4oUb3qZzJ71O52fk6DjArkiI_IUOT2HtVmmVn4-IE1PDRgZjlCYe9cfXaVA_b6DivUpnxrq3OQkIDOz_zWI-mk7F0/s400/enGeneral.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /><br />
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Good times.Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-64150113232496619452010-02-25T13:00:00.000-08:002010-03-16T15:59:25.592-07:00Jack Chick's 'Crazy Wolf'<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438459348319130706" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKbEXD59LRIo_b57V-0xjNpqosPi6i2Rl557840XdrCm8fHuvpixqILFjRagttfEY_nNJ8ZJDr_NmTwAFQQ9XKJCFkWgMPdWI3g6EwD7HbuI75jGa9ah4RzOXt0U7s5VHFxAcIFe98qAU/s400/1061_01.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 138px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 231px;" /><br />
<br />
<i>Based on a story of Native Americans, this is a classic head-to-head battle between God and Satan. Guess who wins?</i><br />
Satan? Can't be God, that's too cliché.<br />
Welcome, friends, to an evening around the campfire with that master of horror, Jack Chick! From demons to black magic to witches and warlocks, Jack Chick knows it and writes it like only the greatest author-artist can! Chill in that most sublime of terrors - an omnipotent being that will condemn you eternally for failing to follow an arbitrary and nonsensical rule! Terrifying!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC2bdrUGtTcO6zMCC6gLWGXDy0yhzZuj2JnTw6oBOqCVQty88NqZL5TsJgEhbY77LHyLNflgL69OQMNvR_wWi3anXdpJGywPi6FPfppu0ZDu07Huh-6YQQKu5NHQ5BKTuT36Yvv63uqgE/s1600-h/1061_02.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438459339351549618" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC2bdrUGtTcO6zMCC6gLWGXDy0yhzZuj2JnTw6oBOqCVQty88NqZL5TsJgEhbY77LHyLNflgL69OQMNvR_wWi3anXdpJGywPi6FPfppu0ZDu07Huh-6YQQKu5NHQ5BKTuT36Yvv63uqgE/s400/1061_02.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Native Americans are extremely intolerant of other's beliefs! Especially when they're rather bizarre Mormon/Catholic beliefs about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quetzalcoatl#Latter-day_Saint_Movement">Quetzalcoatl being Jesus</a>. Since Jack doesn't like Mormons or Catholics himself, maybe the Native Americans are the good guys?<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh62MmaspVrQOThipkGD20HK5CCeayPe6oF0oXWPUcTTEfSUWr0cIWc77EPCtUPpwZ-St6ShX_sLbGix8OLZSiH5pGYAWCYdvnOg-1nVm1MHIET76ULUsIdCQKyHr9GZikAPx6Y5dUEHgo/s1600-h/1061_03.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438459334575085186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh62MmaspVrQOThipkGD20HK5CCeayPe6oF0oXWPUcTTEfSUWr0cIWc77EPCtUPpwZ-St6ShX_sLbGix8OLZSiH5pGYAWCYdvnOg-1nVm1MHIET76ULUsIdCQKyHr9GZikAPx6Y5dUEHgo/s400/1061_03.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
It suddenly starts raining heavily, but their Native American force shields protect them for the brief instant before they obliterate the sky entirely with their minds, turning it to a blank white void.<br />
"I hate having such a naturally angry looking face, it doesn't make me any friends."<br />
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"Have you tried putting curses on her? Joe does a good 'bloated, cancerous face' curse. And it <i>does</i> make it hard to speak with all these tumours filling my mouth."<br />
A medicine man tried three different times and failed all three? Must have been a homeopathic practitioner. 'Some strange power' being that the placebo effect doesn't work if you don't tell them they're being poisoned.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlCk1Rd4M3Id9m9qrWjpPz_IsPpxcOggA-2WE_TcAmVctsba4H8g3eWN3qAQ2791oTmbZGHRWzMvWWf0d1V9PJc87eLHmSjOjM6XGImOPguD-2UQ8R-ZQlZnInX2pLxGYw-FS7FGf7N-4/s1600-h/1061_04.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438458866554912786" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlCk1Rd4M3Id9m9qrWjpPz_IsPpxcOggA-2WE_TcAmVctsba4H8g3eWN3qAQ2791oTmbZGHRWzMvWWf0d1V9PJc87eLHmSjOjM6XGImOPguD-2UQ8R-ZQlZnInX2pLxGYw-FS7FGf7N-4/s400/1061_04.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<i>Warlock</i>, thank you. Or perhaps it's one of those transgender witches? <br />
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Fang is just hanging out down there, checking out the cow. And now that I look at it, I can see why - it has no neck and its head is on the side of its shoulder.<br />
I'm also curious as to when this is supposed to be set - they've all got pretty normal names except for 'Crazy Wolf', but they live in log cabins. They've got telephones, but not electric lights.<br />
And she hates this Old Mary so much that she wants to hire a hit man rather than just stop talking to her.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWZ5tYatJr2TmpKD_Yr_nec9xXxMRVRJRltGFkN6ZS0IkUR8REMq6C34SHGcVhfbMa391cV2iuFh7wroRApTx0YshDgIf-DyCnX-c6KMI7ZVXrAQs5mE7B-zVD1YdeYYZ-fjI_Xae0TVU/s1600-h/1061_05.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438458859697608338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWZ5tYatJr2TmpKD_Yr_nec9xXxMRVRJRltGFkN6ZS0IkUR8REMq6C34SHGcVhfbMa391cV2iuFh7wroRApTx0YshDgIf-DyCnX-c6KMI7ZVXrAQs5mE7B-zVD1YdeYYZ-fjI_Xae0TVU/s400/1061_05.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Rain again, exactly one week later! Lucky the force shields are still active, or the picture might have gotten wet! Also ew, nail clippings? Did she keep them in a jar or something?<br />
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I'll be back in six days and tell you.<br />
Again, <i>warlock</i>. And since Quetzalcoatl is god of stuff like corn, I don't think he'll be much protection from him.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiteCUiDI7xgZ0xlzZXCmOzuIEVqy29EP7WG6ZadyV4vaPMInE9iMzIqDxGdl8YzKLWX-LyDgS1KFFN5jjY_k0xFB8OeA2eWg4Avn_uYfJhHRlaMdQw6JBlyC8Bl9iB2FYndnlwMMVnBxo/s1600-h/1061_06.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438458846719621650" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiteCUiDI7xgZ0xlzZXCmOzuIEVqy29EP7WG6ZadyV4vaPMInE9iMzIqDxGdl8YzKLWX-LyDgS1KFFN5jjY_k0xFB8OeA2eWg4Avn_uYfJhHRlaMdQw6JBlyC8Bl9iB2FYndnlwMMVnBxo/s400/1061_06.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"Is Crazy Wolf a Skin Walker?"<br />
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"He killed his brother - you tell me!"<br />
"Well, that doesn't really answer my question at all. I mean, you don't need to be a Skin Walker to kill your brother, and unless killing your brother <i>makes</i> you a Skin Walker..."<br />
The bunny is the only source of light in a dark world.<br />
"No more questions, you're playing with fire."<br />
"Well, what if I put away my lighter and listen properly?"<br />
"Then you can ask more questions."<br />
"There's his snakes, just hanging out. And a guy tied up and gagged, with an arrow through his hat...might be best to just ignore that."<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigSKvo2F1gI0IlkRgygN4YFTzTu_97ksiNwc4KWGpQPkMamOEvfNVZzGRQK_19Fers9r2cAO_AfZbc_EjEoBfyII7EvZfvdPXNcWsqQrL2TVblyLAlemrfAPeSGRE5yTxg61hwWjp17ug/s1600-h/1061_07.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438458835811948370" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigSKvo2F1gI0IlkRgygN4YFTzTu_97ksiNwc4KWGpQPkMamOEvfNVZzGRQK_19Fers9r2cAO_AfZbc_EjEoBfyII7EvZfvdPXNcWsqQrL2TVblyLAlemrfAPeSGRE5yTxg61hwWjp17ug/s400/1061_07.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
I guess ground up bits of dead people could give you some nasty diseases or something. Seems like it would be faster to just stab him, or even tie him up in the sun like that other one.<br />
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Apparently Mary was the spawn of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_One#Lovecraftian_Fiction">Cthulhu</a>, too. It does seem a bit strange that she'd start worshiping Jesus. And I certainly agree that you don't want star-spawn living nearby or living at all.<br />
Henry forgot the hair and the nail clippings, luckily Crazy Wolf did too or he'd be in for such a powdering!<br />
"Hear my word! On the full moon her heart will be in my hand! Metaphorically speaking, of course! I shall charm her away from that damned prince, and then she shall never have true love's first kiss! Mwahahaha!"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2eur-jet03aYZFL8cuFbiGqiLoL0ww1xlKuqywF_TxgHjbzSPIZpVpnbetzuWjxddUY_uQVh9B0KWwMhaKhQx2LdG8eC-MUp5UFym2PstxMPesoaaatkgXsdmGB3B7JGBQKebLV6g3Dk/s1600-h/1061_08.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438458828082088802" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2eur-jet03aYZFL8cuFbiGqiLoL0ww1xlKuqywF_TxgHjbzSPIZpVpnbetzuWjxddUY_uQVh9B0KWwMhaKhQx2LdG8eC-MUp5UFym2PstxMPesoaaatkgXsdmGB3B7JGBQKebLV6g3Dk/s400/1061_08.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
No, he said he'd have her heart in his hand - which is a crucial component in the ritual to transform someone into a zombie. <br />
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"That was well worth the $300 I paid to get rid of someone who is really just kind of annoying."<br />
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Even children are assholes if they don't believe in Jesus. <br />
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"Your God has white skin!"<br />
"No he doesn't."<br />
"Oh. Well, whatever, our sun god is better! See how his rays pierce the darkness which constantly surrounds you!?"<br />
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"Pastor, a dangerous serial killer is coming after me, I really need some people to talk to themselves about me." <br />
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"I know, Mary. I alerted the church, they're preparing a funeral plot and casket for you now."<br />
"Crazy Wolf! He is an <i>actual </i>witch with <i>real</i> powers, who can <i>literally summon up Satan</i>. You're boned."<br />
"It's just Jesus and me!" So really just you? Also, she has a telephone apparently. That works without electricity? Or a phone line to her house? The pastor has a <i>mobile phone</i>, and it even works in the middle of the desert - when is this happening?!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpo-oFFdMJk3DH-_veED8yt_CvNNC0r5_S1OeHvuQ_Eoa-bHu0dyCFvveiRY2jmwfhnZhyhvJ6DZykH-U0O23aSMInQTuiflpWLKq42-S04sl_NbgpW9j2EBiQoy9IYQeTJPsvUlkDKuQ/s1600-h/1061_11.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438457353171352146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpo-oFFdMJk3DH-_veED8yt_CvNNC0r5_S1OeHvuQ_Eoa-bHu0dyCFvveiRY2jmwfhnZhyhvJ6DZykH-U0O23aSMInQTuiflpWLKq42-S04sl_NbgpW9j2EBiQoy9IYQeTJPsvUlkDKuQ/s400/1061_11.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Yes, Crazy Wolf summons <i>actual real live</i> demons including Satan himself, and then goes to sleep.<br />
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His <i>actual magical powers</i> and <i>real evil spirits</i> guide his <i>magic devil spirit body </i>to Mary's House. Mary, completely unaware, is shoveling cat food into her mouth while her poor starved cat looks on.<br />
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"Lord, I need a miracle. Please send angelic guardians to protect me. Thanks in advance, Mary."<br />
God naturally chooses to answer her prayer the same way he answers all prayers, and does nothing.<br />
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Still impressed by the actual demonic powers this guy has. The cat is beginning to wonder why it lives with a woman who eats all its cat food, talks to imaginary men, and regularly infuriates people with demonic powers and no compunctions about murder.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbEA4Alwh2EyV4_Q17n25x3dzfYOE2NErl4i2ZFSxvudaffEquymZ2u1PPkPPFTFSN37jyoUSD-Y99qIrEXDUp8ay7uYULP8pDDfZN1wFBXakcmJDI9ff7s-ChN9EDPI7KonRng-kDdzA/s1600-h/1061_14.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456594599797554" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbEA4Alwh2EyV4_Q17n25x3dzfYOE2NErl4i2ZFSxvudaffEquymZ2u1PPkPPFTFSN37jyoUSD-Y99qIrEXDUp8ay7uYULP8pDDfZN1wFBXakcmJDI9ff7s-ChN9EDPI7KonRng-kDdzA/s400/1061_14.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Jesus sends giant angels to protect Mary! Lizard Demon tiptoes away from the monstrosity as it pummels poor Crazy Wolf. Suddenly, he's not a Skin Walker, he's a "Skin Walker". Foreshadowing the next panel, perhaps?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRe4Kk1vAOqko7EJK02cSs-3ppzex2ObKwuRFxTMhWTEEAo55PFVmlZtulS7zqq7sqqGZcaysbdXDoj7x6NiLF7E4-SbYXqf4sfINoRLTFLC4O4827hVXg-oNMR7LaOPKtiOlZr9MhZFM/s1600-h/1061_15.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456592028693538" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRe4Kk1vAOqko7EJK02cSs-3ppzex2ObKwuRFxTMhWTEEAo55PFVmlZtulS7zqq7sqqGZcaysbdXDoj7x6NiLF7E4-SbYXqf4sfINoRLTFLC4O4827hVXg-oNMR7LaOPKtiOlZr9MhZFM/s400/1061_15.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Satan's forehead, ear, and right cheek are understandably upset. Ignoring the failure of his own demons, Satan takes it out on poor Crazy Wolf, who was only trying to earn a living.<br />
<br />
Also, I want in on these 'real demonic powers'. I mean, the power to shift shape and command demons? Sure, it apparently doesn't work on fundamentalist Christians who specifically ask to be saved from demonic powers at the right time, but there's still an overwhelming percentage of the world you could mess with. And since the only benefit to Christianity is being immune to demonic powers, which I'd hope having them yourself would make a moot point - hell yeah I want me a pact with Satan.<br />
"Just one more thing, Lord. I forgot to pick up some milk on the way home, so if it's not out of the way for you...maybe you could swing by later and drop some off?"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4EhlCbgaACM7cc_fKnMHsswijzh8CaSNMtUBOYAIGXDTE-BqR5h6FCZa7Lz2wa8WEJ2sGXcjYU6ZVy_0nYECJjpJlCMoqwRcqKf6lU4RNae7QeOGoAq85Q4Ka6oMVr8AgB0UQo0r8fu4/s1600-h/1061_16.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456582413945154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4EhlCbgaACM7cc_fKnMHsswijzh8CaSNMtUBOYAIGXDTE-BqR5h6FCZa7Lz2wa8WEJ2sGXcjYU6ZVy_0nYECJjpJlCMoqwRcqKf6lU4RNae7QeOGoAq85Q4Ka6oMVr8AgB0UQo0r8fu4/s400/1061_16.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Christians are so loving! Also stupid, if I were Crazy Wolf I'd probably have brought a gun or something, since she's responsible for Satan breaking my arm. <br />
<br />
"I tried to kill you! Aren't you afraid? Seriously, I had real demonic powers and killed people for trespassing and stuff, I could probably have brought some corpse powder in my other hand to kill you with right now!"<br />
More chicken? What chicken? You're standing, he hasn't even had any chicken yet. He only has the one tooth, too, and it looks like he should be eating soft foods anyway.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYV4M6Xuk6ZmFIuWptdapsnH8wNUMm4MeMLSom1DCCcPrM8z09HBlbCu1yt5pSakwGrhcclhyphenhyphen2nHYPseMGmASAHMAzytTRSLStS4erPIjaLy8AJ7IedfO-Iu4m47az_uPcB7xlgcpz_Vg/s1600-h/1061_17.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456574435522754" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYV4M6Xuk6ZmFIuWptdapsnH8wNUMm4MeMLSom1DCCcPrM8z09HBlbCu1yt5pSakwGrhcclhyphenhyphen2nHYPseMGmASAHMAzytTRSLStS4erPIjaLy8AJ7IedfO-Iu4m47az_uPcB7xlgcpz_Vg/s400/1061_17.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"Would you like to go to heaven?"<br />
<br />
"What the hell is heaven?"<br />
Every crime known! Grand theft auto, embezzling, <i>loitering</i>, genocide, you name it! <br />
"Who <i>is </i>this Jesus?"<br />
"Jesus created everything, even you. And if you don't do what I'm about to tell you <i>exactly</i>, you will be tortured literally forever. If you <i>do</i> do it, you can go to heaven."<br />
"What <i>is</i> this heaven?"<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-XFs5jcrvCZN-PKJhyphenhyphenMxqrjVPoq1tEfsk-wueQLbJAt6B0r4XiQEjQ06CkQ7-p3L0JlKNBgYqSGA-nyUHclfRbqNV4AueX1QYTnU4TImGtFeBQp8V2UCEXl82PJ81Lm-Wzf9KfaGigK8/s1600-h/1061_18.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456566270202018" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-XFs5jcrvCZN-PKJhyphenhyphenMxqrjVPoq1tEfsk-wueQLbJAt6B0r4XiQEjQ06CkQ7-p3L0JlKNBgYqSGA-nyUHclfRbqNV4AueX1QYTnU4TImGtFeBQp8V2UCEXl82PJ81Lm-Wzf9KfaGigK8/s400/1061_18.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"It cost Jesus His life, but not really, since Jesus is God and came back to life anyway. And it's not as though Jesus was really a hard thing for God to make - I mean, he made all the animals of the world in a single day, so he could probably have churned out a couple million Saviours, made one for every person in the world. But God loves to make things difficult and confusing and kind of pointlessly complicated, so He decided rather than just forgive you, He'd make it so you'd only be forgiven if you believed in His Son specifically. Doesn't that sound appealing?"<br />
I have my own take on John 3:16, which I think puts it in a more accurate light.<br />
<br />
"For God so hated the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth not in him should not perish, but have everlasting torment."<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCgZQWCBqm5XjsN11hQAHERMg4XAwcA-6E30Ljszudzcg3KM1AJ1pkNqg2eg6lKqBj0DOm9qRIbaGe1i_B_ahBiurtIyF0IuH2hmnmpB6t4ZKQivVhzSjp7LHwbHod76kfh8oMZbigR0o/s1600-h/1061_19.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456165428880850" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCgZQWCBqm5XjsN11hQAHERMg4XAwcA-6E30Ljszudzcg3KM1AJ1pkNqg2eg6lKqBj0DOm9qRIbaGe1i_B_ahBiurtIyF0IuH2hmnmpB6t4ZKQivVhzSjp7LHwbHod76kfh8oMZbigR0o/s400/1061_19.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"God made it so <b>easy</b> to fail to see the point of such a complex series of events just to do something an omnipotent being could just as easily accomplish by snapping its fingers."<br />
"Man, I'd be <i>crazy</i> not to believe you! This two minute conversation is adequate proof to make me change my entire view of the world!"<br />
Although, I guess he <i>did</i> have contact with Satan, so that's probably gone a long way towards priming him for accepting God.<br />
<i>And Satan went nuts!</i> <i> Like, totally crazy! Ran around in circles gibbering to himself, wrapped himself in wallpaper and started hopping on one leg, just insane!</i><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7gzQSXTSLd25SAzKD6F7jlpgDAcOt9YeiFYtCicF-QOLtHJ99vT28JcibGrVifq43paoT7HED6ITrhK6Z93IyPceNNJ-4eNID2jgX5aoNDeZCfQX3R4q-MZUC-w1RLjzPRb4mM3iETjw/s1600-h/1061_20.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456163291167250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7gzQSXTSLd25SAzKD6F7jlpgDAcOt9YeiFYtCicF-QOLtHJ99vT28JcibGrVifq43paoT7HED6ITrhK6Z93IyPceNNJ-4eNID2jgX5aoNDeZCfQX3R4q-MZUC-w1RLjzPRb4mM3iETjw/s400/1061_20.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Double confused?? She's just spitting everywhere with surprise.<br />
<br />
"Mary, I'm finding the heady rush of giving up my life entirely into the hands of another to be very intoxicating!"<br />
"That's the power of endorphins at work, Mr. Wolf."<br />
<br />
"My real name is Billie Wolf, Mary"<br />
"Which makes you Mr. Wolf, moron."<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit2EgLq_chyphenhyphenfljh0pQnBW4UuKZWbEhGryO8r4hBxJ_RgENm40uhj80n6XfEnxZdWi2ce7h0MXCmMgyZ41NvqBs6mRqyDlCN-00HpBI_Jc4PrLT99Spjj0NknnjapU-E3wM1D3qCIAy9x8/s1600-h/1061_21.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456151515549986" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit2EgLq_chyphenhyphenfljh0pQnBW4UuKZWbEhGryO8r4hBxJ_RgENm40uhj80n6XfEnxZdWi2ce7h0MXCmMgyZ41NvqBs6mRqyDlCN-00HpBI_Jc4PrLT99Spjj0NknnjapU-E3wM1D3qCIAy9x8/s400/1061_21.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
"Don't you turn your back on me, you son of a bitch! I'll kill you for ignoring me!"<br />
<br />
And he spins around just in time to get shot dramatically! Not sure why they'd rejoice, though, since they hired him to kill Mary. More like, "Margaret is pissed off because he didn't kill Mary and stole her money, so she shot him, and then while she was there she shot Mary too."<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV2CmVmyYEiNBEncO4kMabSyvpBjT5NuXArQmJQ3tiZjF-mvxd_SlL74aSCVWxLLe8oTFbpWf-RmNos8T_Q8nslLTdM7FRhjDkknK8w_TM-PudPAQbz2qPGkaGFWy9DlLxje6e2tlsce8/s1600-h/1061_22.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456141953103218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV2CmVmyYEiNBEncO4kMabSyvpBjT5NuXArQmJQ3tiZjF-mvxd_SlL74aSCVWxLLe8oTFbpWf-RmNos8T_Q8nslLTdM7FRhjDkknK8w_TM-PudPAQbz2qPGkaGFWy9DlLxje6e2tlsce8/s400/1061_22.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
Margaret is tortured for eternity for getting understandably pissed off about religious fundies. She went a bit overboard with her solution for dealing with them (hint: try ignoring them), but that's hardly reason to torture her forever. Especially considering the guy who was far worse gets to go to heaven.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHv7x0JGqe8_kjPd8489bEdAJZTDUn_k30RUwVUfjkCBjOx88N5ZoFDlVMTVjVEyulmobegdEMGOa64F_yaK0sGMuBx4KyNHsBfbh9DpxPq5tle_aFBfsJE4z6WTKSPaFc4ISMOV6HRfg/s1600-h/enKJVboxes.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438456134302258530" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHv7x0JGqe8_kjPd8489bEdAJZTDUn_k30RUwVUfjkCBjOx88N5ZoFDlVMTVjVEyulmobegdEMGOa64F_yaK0sGMuBx4KyNHsBfbh9DpxPq5tle_aFBfsJE4z6WTKSPaFc4ISMOV6HRfg/s400/enKJVboxes.gif" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
<br />
A stock Jack Chick panel, which seems to advocate letting Jesus live at your house and hang around you all the time. Man, what a bum. Also, salvation: y/n?Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-20206776453379546922010-02-20T11:51:00.000-08:002010-03-08T07:56:44.581-08:00How Do I Know God Exists?I wouldn't call it <a href="http://raycomfortfood.blogspot.com/2010/02/seven-of-most-important-questions-you.html">one of the most important questions I'd ever ask</a>, but it is an interesting one. Brought to you by Ray Comfort, the man renowned for his impassioned speech some time ago about the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4yBvvGi_2A">Atheist's Nightmare: the banana!</a> Now, that's not the entirety of his speech - and I say this because he got a bit riled up about people missing the first half - where he shows off a soda can and points out how it's got a tab for opening and the like, and how it's proof of a creator. Well, that's fine and dandy, but if you watch the linked video with a horticulturist, they might have something to say - that delicious yellow fruit we eat today was, in fact, selected and bred by man to make it more palatable - easier to grip, and the like. The original banana was a <a href="http://wildlifemysteries.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/wild-banana.jpg">rather distasteful looking thing</a>.<br />
So, what does this mastermind have for us now? Well, we shall just see.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<blockquote>1. How Do I know God exists?<br />
It’s amazing how many people think that God’s existence is a matter of "faith." They think that we choose to accept that an invisible God exists, without any real evidence for His existence. We just "believe."</blockquote><br />
<br />
How do you know? Well, you don't, naturally. You believe in it, and there <i>isn't</i> really any evidence. There's a lot of stuff you could use to reinforce your belief, if you so choose, but you can't <i>really</i> know. As Descartes once philosophized, the entire world and all you sense might be but an illusion, so you can hardly <i>know</i> anything.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Could you believe that a soldier’s barracks had no builder? Obviously someone put it together, because buildings don’t happen by themselves. The fact that the building exists is positive proof that there was a builder. Who could believe that a building—with its doors, windows, heating, air conditioning, carpet, electricity, etc., happened by accident, made from nothing?</blockquote>Well, it could be one of those fancy inflatable ones that just sort of pop up when you throw down a little cube. Or it could have been put together by a robot or a well trained ape, both of which, as we all know, have no souls.<br />
<br />
Silliness aside, sure, yeah, I'm with you. Can't have stuff made from processed and man made materials just sort of assemble into a building, I guess. So?<br />
<blockquote>Its design adds to evidence of a designer. For example, the door is made for a man to walk though. It has a handle and hinges. Windows are made for him to see through. The air conditioning keeps him cool in summer, and the heating keeps him warm in winter. The lighting helps him see when it’s dark, and the carpet is for his added comfort. The building was intended specifically for his use.</blockquote><br />
I suppose the design does add to the the evidence, not that it's really needed since I imagine militaries keep good track of which contractors built what and when. But yeah, extra evidence, everything is working smoothly. I don't know about carpet, though, soldiers aren't usually afforded <i>that</i> much comfort.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>In the same way, creation is proof that there was a Creator.</blockquote>Yeah? Oh you mean <i>the universe</i> is proof of a creator. Well, no.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Keep in mind that we can’t create anything from nothing. We don’t know how to begin. If you disagree, then make me a seed—-from nothing. Make it living, so that it grows into a plant that produces an edible fruit, and make it with the ability to create more seeds within the fruit, so that you can plant them and make more plants and more fruit. So if we can’t even make one seed, how intellectually deceitful is it for any rational human being to believe that nothing created everything?</blockquote>Maybe <i>you </i>don't know how to begin, but we do know where to get something from nothing. Not that it's relevant, since the idea that the universe was created in a 'big bang' from a singularity (which has plenty of evidence for it) necessarily includes the inability to know what conditions were like before the singularity. Now, I'm not the most knowledgeable about these things, but what I've learned from Stephen Hawking is that a singularity is like a box of chocolates - you never know what happened before it, because it is by its very nature anathema to logic and understanding. Which means that we have no idea what was before the singularity, and we can't - but we didn't start with nothing, we started with the singularity, because time did.<br />
<br />
So I disagree, but I'm not going to make you a seed from nothing. Not because I can't, but because I don't want to. Anyway, if we're trying to copy evolution, it'd be more like '<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abiogenesis">make you a single celled organism from a rather complex mix of stuff</a>', and then 'allow it several billions years to reproduce and be subject to natural selection until it had become a fruiting plant that, through concurrent evolution alongside animals, had evolved fruit edible by those animals'. Or perhaps the animals evolved to eat previously inedible fruit, but you get the picture.<br />
So, although we cannot even make one seed, we can comprehend quite a lot of what must have (did) occur to have 'nothing' create everything.<br />
<blockquote>But there is more. The evidence shows that this earth upon which we live was intended for our use. We have lighting during the day so that we can see what we are doing. The sea breeze keeps the air fresh and cool, and the warmth of a massive ball of fire in the sky keeps us warm and dry. Cows give us succulent meat to eat and leather to wear. They chew grass and give us milk, and from the milk we get cream, cheese, butter, yoghurt, and ice cream. Sheep give us mouth-watering meat to eat, and wool from their back gives us warm sweaters, and supplies carpet for our comfort. Chickens lay eggs for us to scramble, and sacrificially provide finger-lickin’ meat on our plates.</blockquote>Oh man, this is where the fun begins. Yes, the evidence shows that light was created to occur during the day, because if it happened at night, it'd be useless. And if we want to visit the sun, we just have to land at night time. Or perhaps light occurs during the day because the earth rotates and thus the amount of light being cast upon any one part changes, and because we decided to name the parts when there's light 'day'? The sea breeze keeps the air fresh, which is why everyone living inland has died of suffocation in the stale air. It keeps us cool too, which is a good counterbalance to that big-ass ball of fire heating everything up. We have to live with that damn warm thing though, since if it wasn't there we'd get all wet all the time, because all the water would continue to evaporate in the extreme cold, and the vapour wouldn't just freeze out of the sky without any input of heat. We'd still have light, though, because that comes from somewhere else, apparently.<br />
<br />
Cows were engineered by some unknown Creator to give us meat to eat and leather to wear, which is good because otherwise BDSM play would be a lot less exciting. Same for two other specific animals, although only chickens give up their meat sacrificially so I guess Ray doesn't eat lamb or beef from dead cows, he gets it sliced off the live animal for him.<br />
This was all designed by God, by the way. Which is why chicken eggs come helpfully pre-salted and peppered, and sheep wool is only allergenic to <i>some</i> people (sinners). Cow milk was made for humans, which is why <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_milk#Food_product_for_humans">people become lactose intolerant</a> unless they consume it regularly after infancy.<br />
<blockquote>We have oceans that are rich with tasty fish for our dinner; the soil yields juicy fruits for the table and a huge variety of vegetables to keep us healthy. Trees breathe out oxygen for us to breathe in, and we breathe out carbon dioxide for them to breathe in.</blockquote>Fish all look the same because God willed it so, not because they share a common ancestor. Whales and dolphins are mammals and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o92x6AvxCFg">possess vestigial hind limbs and a very long fossil record of their re-entry to the water</a> (warning: video does not contain entire evolutionary tree of whales or even all of the fossil examples because it is short) because God thought it would be funny, not because they were mammals that re-entered the water. Fruits grow in the soil! Fruits and vegetables were designed to be edible, which is why almond shells, apple seeds, cherry seeds, apricot pits and others contain cyanide, many berries are poisonous and potatoes contain solanine (like nightshade). We breathe out carbon dioxide for plants, which is good because nothing else does, and they create oxygen for us, which is good, because nothing else does (except photosynthetic bacteria in the oceans which do most of the oxygen production worldwide).<br />
<br />
<blockquote>We have eyes to enjoy the beauty of this amazing creation, ears to listen to melodious music, as well as hear the song of a myriad of beautiful birds that usher in the morning light. We have a mass of taste buds to relish mashed potatoes and gravy.</blockquote>Eyes are for seeing beauty, not evolved (and there are a number of good evolutionary trees to describe this evolution) to find light for photosynthesis or to detect predators, and ears are for listening to birds, which are for singing. Taste buds are for tasting potatoes(?).<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Add to this the wonder of man being made for woman and woman for man, and the fact that dogs give man enjoyment and keep him company. He has brilliant white snow upon which to ski, massive waves upon which to surf, the joys of blue skies, green grass, and white beaches with amazing and crystal-clear water.</blockquote>Wait, I thought you believed that woman was made for man and man was made as an ego trip by god? Also, not sure why you included dogs in your sentence about the wonder of compatible sexual organs. <br />
<br />
Not much else to say, except that apparently snow was always intended for skiing and waves for surfing. God's great plan, I suppose.<br />
<blockquote>On top of all this, gravity keeps his feet firmly grounded so that he doesn’t spin off into space, as this massive ball of dirt upon which he lives spins around at the breath-taking speed.</blockquote>Wow, all that <i>and</i> gravity? It all sounded pretty simple up till you mentioned gravity. Good thing we have it, because the breath-taking speed is pretty fast. Although, you're kind of simplifying it by calling it 'dirt'. It's really more 'water and lava and a mostly iron core, and also a bit of dirt on top with the water'.<br />
<br />
Anyway, gravity isn't something to require a creator - if it didn't exist, the universe wouldn't be like it is and we wouldn't be here to witness it. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropic_principle">Anthropic principle</a> and all, you know? Speaking of...<br />
<blockquote>The amazing design all around us screams of the unspeakable genius of an incredible<br />
designer.<br />
<br />
No wonder the Bible calls the professing atheist a "fool."<br />
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So there is no question as to whether or not God exists; which brings us to the second question.</blockquote>The amazing coincidence all around us screams of 'if it wasn't like this, we wouldn't be alive'. As in, no gravity means no formation of planets means no life means no humans to know about no gravity. If the universe hadn't worked out like it was, we wouldn't be alive to say it was all done by a god. So it is amazing, but it's also to be expected.<br />
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Not to mention all the things that make no sense for an omnipotent and presumably omniscient being to have created, but make perfect sense to have evolved - see vestigial traits, sharing an eating hole with a breathing hole, and other poor 'design' choices in general.<br />
No wonder I'm calling Ray Comfort an 'intellectually disabled man who confuses necessary conditions and completely sensible evolutionary concepts with elements of design'.<br />
Yes, if you're talking about the God as depicted in the Bible, there is absolutely no doubt that he doesn't exist. It's really quite impossible for something so completely contradictory, retarded, and obviously wrong to be inspired by an omnipotent being, or for an omnipotent and all-loving being to be so hateful and incompetent and just plain <i>wrong</i>.<br />
We may just look at that second question in the near future, Ray. Be prepared!Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-27706966995373223162010-02-18T21:22:00.000-08:002010-02-18T21:22:00.271-08:00Regression Toward The Mean<p>Just a little something regarding a concept a lot of alternative medicine practitioners and their faithful never seem able to grasp.<p>Human beings are in their natural state, healthy. You feel good, you work well, nothing is wrong. Then, you get sick. Maybe you develop a cough. After a little while of having the symptoms of a cough, you'll probably do something about it. Maybe you'll take some conventional medicine (a cough tablet), maybe you'll take a homeopathic remedy, and maybe you'll do nothing. In all cases, the end result is the same - you get over your illness as the body naturally deals with the problem. You end up feeling healthy again. So in those three cases, this is what's happening:</p><p>Conventional Medicine: The cough tablet soothes your throat, and perhaps suppresses the cough itself. You feel okay, and while the cough tablet is working, your body is healing itself. If you're lucky, by the time the tablet wears off your cough will be done with. You're grateful for the cough tablet for making you feel better during that time.</p><p>Homeopathic Remedy: You drink a tiny amount of water, which via the placebo effect may trick you into believing your cough is a bit better. Gradually, your cough gets better on its own. You're grateful for the remedy 'curing' your cough.</p><p>Nothing: You cough for a while and then it goes away. You didn't take anything, and so you aren't grateful for the assistance of anything.</p><p><br /></p><p>Now, try substituting influenza for cough. It's generally a much more serious deal, with bed rest and lots of water and sleep, and no exertion. You'll be recommended to take the bed rest and water and not exert yourself no matter who you ask, so that's a constant. If you take conventional medicine, it'll be something to lower your fever (like aspirin), and otherwise mask your symptoms. You'll be more comfortable while getting over your flu. If you take a homeopathic remedy, the placebo effect might make you feel better, but your fever will stay the same, since homeopathic remedies are just water. You'll feel worse, guaranteed, than if you took something conventional. Your flu will eventually subside anyway, and you'll thank your homeopathic remedy for 'curing' you. If you took nothing, you'll keep your fever and eventually the influenza will end.</p><p>So the end result is that when you take something at the height of an illness, you'll be thankful for it when the illness subsides, and since naturally taking something at the <em>height</em> of an illness means it will only get lower from there, a homeopathic remedy is guaranteed the same effect as anything else. The danger comes when, armed with this faith in homeopathic remedies from personal experience curing temporary problems, you use them to combat serious things. </p>Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-11963832166039732322010-02-18T13:53:00.000-08:002010-03-08T07:57:48.176-08:00Homeopathy kills more people than Marijuana.The statement contained in the title of this entry, "Homeopathy kills more people than Marijuana.", is one of my favourite responses to someone who would both endorse the use of homeopathic products and condemn the use of marijuana products simultaneously. It's not hard to imagine someone who quite likely thinks in terms of 'bio energy' and 'toxins' to be horrified at the idea of inhaling a mood altering chemical.<br />
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The only thing is, marijuana is quite possibly one of the safest drugs you can get. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracetamol_toxicity">Paracetamol</a>, a common headache medicine that usually comes in 500mg tablets, can cause toxic effects in the body at doses as low as ten grams (twenty tablets) in a day, or even five grams a day over the course of a few days. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ibuprofen#Human_toxicology">Ibuprofen</a> is also dangerous in the ten grams and up range, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspirin_poisoning">Aspirin</a> is likewise toxic in the ten gram range over a number of days. All these pills are available over the counter and kill thousands of people every year due to overdose and toxicity. There has never been a <a href="http://www.saferchoice.org/content/view/24/53/">recorded death from overdose of marijuana</a>, and although it may be implicit in deaths due to <a href="http://www.procon.org/viewbackgroundresource.asp?resourceID=1494">motor accident</a> (by way of reduced reaction times and reduced capability for decision making), the number of deaths in this manner is low.<br />
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In contrast, homeopathy is directly responsible for the <a href="http://whatstheharm.net/homeopathy.html">deaths and injury of hundreds</a>. In addition to those cases where homeopaths urge people with medical conditions to discontinue their treatments and medication in favour of homeopathic remedies and other 'alternative' solutions, the 'natural' and side effect free promise of homeopathy lures untold thousands more away from conventional medicine. In some cases (<a href="http://www.homeopathyworldcommunity.com/group/fraudinscience/forum/topics/death-by-medicine?commentId=3101571%3AComment%3A57972&xg_source=activity&groupId=3101571%3AGroup%3A52742">as homeopaths are quick to point out</a>), conventional medicine might do more harm than good, but someone converted to homeopathy out of fear of side effects isn't going to be easily persuaded when there's a need for real treatment. And if the <a href="http://www.homeopathytoday.org/?p=459">'big pharma' really are conning people</a> into treatments and medications which they don't need, we should <i>address</i> that issue, and do something about it, rather than trying to con people into <i>our</i> treatments and medications that they don't need and which don't work.<br />
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The sad truth of the matter is that homeopathy is bunk. It doesn't work, it's water that does nothing but make you feel good. Nice as it would be to have a '<a href="http://forum.skeptic.za.org/junk-science-and-alternative-medicine/why-some-patients-prefer-homeopathy-over-allopathy/">gentler system of medicine with no side effects</a>' that strengthens your immune system, avoids surgery, is low cost and treats the cause rather than the symptom, it just doesn't exist. It really is too good to be true. Anyone who uses a <a href="http://www.helios.co.uk/kits.html">homeopathic Accident & Emergency kit</a> in a real-life emergency situation where something conventional (like antibiotics) could have saved a life has killed someone. Simple as that. Giving water to a dying person who needs antibiotics or bandages or a transfusion or something to unclog their airways - is murder.<br />
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Not to forget about marijuana, though. Sure, it might increase your chances of doing something stupid (less so than alcohol, but still) or make you say something embarrassing, but at least it's not being offered as an alternative to heart surgery or chemotherapy. At least it actually <i>does</i> have pain relieving qualities and actual medicinal effects. And don't forget that if it was legal, there'd be a lot more regulation and information going on. Rather than 'safety through ignorance', it'd become 'safety through education' - which is really a better thing all around.<br />
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Finally, I have this to say:<br />
Homeopathy kills more people than marijuana. And I challenge anyone to convince me otherwise.Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-42997969358765805852010-02-16T21:00:00.000-08:002010-03-08T07:58:42.723-08:00Water Diluted in Water: A Short Definition of HomeopathyYou've probably heard of homeopathy. Yet another alternative medicine, promising fast and effective treatment with none of the nasty side effects of conventional medicine. Well, so long as you don't count 'buying water at ridiculous prices' as a nasty side effect, they're half telling the truth.<br />
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What are homeopathic remedies? Simply put, the homeopathic formula is to figure out what they want to 'cure' (say, influenza), then find something that causes similar symptoms (like perhaps <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscillococcinum">duck liver</a>), and dilute it in water. Between dilutions, the mixture is sharply struck - homeopaths believe this process causes the mixture to leave its 'vital imprint' upon the water, which when the concoction is eventually digested, usually at the point where not one molecule of the original substance remains, will somehow cure the body of the disease.<br />
Dilutions are described in a C scale, where 2C is one part original substance (say oil) diluted in one hundred parts water. Strike ten times, then dilute one part of this diluted oil in another hundred parts water, leaving 1 part oil to ten thousand parts water.<br />
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Common dilutions range from 30C, or 1:10^60 parts oil to water, all the way up to 200C, or 1:10^400 parts oil to water. To demonstrate just how big this is, it has been said 1/3rd of a drop of oil diluted into all the water on earth would give you a dilution of about 13C. One <i>molecule</i> of oil in the entirety of the observable univese would give you a dilution of 40C. That <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscillococcinum">duck liver flu remedy</a> mentioned earlier has a dilution of 200C. That's one molecule of duck liver per 10^320 <i>universes</i>. That's 1 followed by 320 zeros, or<br />
<blockquote><br />
100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000<br />
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000<br />
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000<br />
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000<br />
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000<br />
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000<br />
00000000000000000000</blockquote>universes. That's a lot for just one molecule.<br />
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So, odds are against you getting anything but water in your homeopathic remedies, because it's all they are. Just as likely as getting a single molecule of oil in a 200C dilution? Homeopathic solutions having anything more than a placebo effect.Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-82556418621558919752010-02-15T17:00:00.000-08:002010-02-15T17:00:01.306-08:00Things That Are Wrong: The List<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternative_medicine">Alternative Medicine</a> (see <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quackery">Quackery</a>)</p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applied_Kinesiology">Applied Kinesiology</a></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astrology">Astrology</a></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiropractic">Chiropractic</a></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colon_cleansing">Colon Cleansing</a></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creation_science">Creationism</a></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faith_healing">Faith Healing</a></p><p>Fred Phelps</p><p><a href="http://www.chick.com/">Jack Chick</a></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnet_therapy">Magnet Therapy</a></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligent_design">Intelligent Design</a></p><p>Religious Indoctrination</p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology">Scientology</a></p><p>Street Proselytizing </p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditional_Chinese_Medicine">Traditional Chinese Medicine</a></p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitalism">Vitalism</a></p><p>Let me know if you can think of any more, and I'll add them.</p>Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-9751262480023257152010-02-14T16:20:00.000-08:002010-03-08T08:01:44.948-08:00A Rather Unique Sense of JusticeHere's something I was handed by someone in the city recently. Brought to you by www.operations513.com, this tract has finally brought me over to the light of the lord Jesus Christ. Let's have a look, in the style of a chick tract dissection.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzQXC8sT1ENjxg95b_0kqXdb2wZ4I2mokEysHaAs5SHu0nZ6bJAF9N3nY44hVty9MdQjzBEQm4iR46QuOq0HWVLh2Z8Zwmh9uII4pc4SmHm2xQP2K6OuESCBWKoHC3bmV5sO-gZayhoYc/s1600-h/page1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438260892982187986" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzQXC8sT1ENjxg95b_0kqXdb2wZ4I2mokEysHaAs5SHu0nZ6bJAF9N3nY44hVty9MdQjzBEQm4iR46QuOq0HWVLh2Z8Zwmh9uII4pc4SmHm2xQP2K6OuESCBWKoHC3bmV5sO-gZayhoYc/s400/page1.jpg" style="display: block; height: 320px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center; width: 219px;" /><a name='more'></a></a><br />
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<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> Who are you? How are you talking to me?<br />
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This first page sets the scene for the rest of the tract - Mr Nice Guy apparently lives in a featureless wasteland of changing colours and nothing else, save for whatever the mysterious voice summons up for him. He doesn't seem particularly bothered by this, either.<br />
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<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> Actually, I'm not even religious, I only know of the ten commandments because people keep coming up to me on the street and pressing religious tracts on me. <br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438261130716059426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjebZM89Oatpga7Fca4ecpURbyQYY40uJTkg3ZGkEVQc28aujv-Rlz_sqL9uDNaDnesx7JHa8-Ov-3T5Pv5hAEm-CHFK9UmXmI_hV1K2h0HJLMsyrTnsHt-iidyVZQ4oqtr63Vfye7ZHT8/s400/page2.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 231px;" /><br />
<strong>Mysterious Voice:</strong> But what if you were lying when you said you were a liar? Does that mean you tell the truth? Maybe you really haven't stolen anything?<br />
<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> I was also lying when I said I was happy doing this, so uh...<br />
<strong>Mysterious Voice:</strong> Were you? WERE YOU?<br />
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On the other hand, Mr. Nice Guy gives in pretty easily to these allegations. Good thing he didn't get caught as a kid, or he'd never have been able to get out of it.<br />
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<strong>Mr. Nice Guy (kicking dejectedly at the ground):</strong> A thief, I guess...<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438261136853526898" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBMXPW74lBf8PUxLCtIAjhQ5ClEkKteNYqoKInhNRoPmyGnNYlLmGzXY-IoaL2HkCkrRi7o7DV-Qr0DMEA2yIZAbSPfmQn8EnDgfHBzPJqhJs6OUZlMBIP8Q4m2Wz9BOEgxkOPepPFok4/s400/page3.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 224px;" /><br />
Eh, I'm not into girls whose arms and torso are roughly the same size and shape.<br />
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<strong>Voice:</strong> Jesus said-<br />
<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> Wait, I said I'm not religious, I don't really-<br />
<strong>Voice:</strong> JESUS SAID, "Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">commited</span> adultery with her in his heart."<br />
<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> Well, I haven't done that, I'm gay. That last page was just a woman passing in front of Johnny <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Depp</span>.<br />
<strong>Voice:</strong> Gay? Well you're a lost cause then, never mind.<br />
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Well, lying wasn't against one of the ten commandments, really, it's 'bearing false witness against your neighbour' which is more like lying in a way that is bad for your countrymen. Lying to enemies is okay. And the rest? Don't kill, don't work on a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">sunday</span> (which many Christians do), don't make any idols (like statues of Jesus, angels, or any animal or plant), no other gods, honour your parents, and don't want what other people have.<br />
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<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438261140702977058" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM7iPEB6-6KSmopmF5n1ZYVZGE1VCIV406shyphenhyphenbwMumLX2Ry-zfgs2aWX1K1mJE6MIeaXEmhkMeaviEEr65XX6GIcnLLoXF2fHrvypFSaJRV-kkW61Jm6LJR53rwpLY5Jd3I9Oyvv2AYwg/s400/page4.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 221px;" /><br />
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<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> Okay, so I'm not perfect.<br />
<strong>Voice:</strong> Well, suppose we put a device in your brain...<br />
<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> Wait, who were you again?<br />
<strong>Voice: </strong>Do you work for Al <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Qaeda</span>? What are the terrorist plans?!<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438261141942304114" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHI3LFoG_zK10WPtCY9sMMcvPkd43gv3ys7eWwYmhbqHrNEUtlghip3FIAP0rN9g81nmlWgLsSAqhp8nV6t_0klL0Nun6At5zlueA9tSK4GEoZ5_J-dTHtXv14Cdpkik8x2uP7OJLyFZY/s400/page5.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 221px;" /><br />
<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> That, right over there, to my right! That would be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">embarrassing</span>!<br />
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I imagine no one, even the most steadfast Christian, would really want their thoughts displayed to all their friends and family. Particularly since they'd just be internally condemning all their friends and family for not being Christian enough.<br />
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<strong>Mr. Nice Guy: </strong>Compared to guys under 6 feet tall, I'm a saint!<br />
<strong>Voice:</strong> True. God hates short people.<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438261147644689410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUckLKrNz3EkszOgnbfggClqSGVDlyMe76p1ZghYrbBDgk_pe9Rm4pljqoKC_TX8kutdeEDybVW_rAs02sevAs5yWI2vtvVDYtZvTodfkZMtTKZwJXDz4y6SFCPDUdTnBrglmX1tcLG3A/s400/page6.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 229px;" /><br />
127550 times, to be exact. This is 5 sins a day from birth till death, of course. And this isn't including leap years, which would make it an extra 87 and a half sins. Truly terrible.<br />
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<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> But won't god just forgive me?<br />
<strong>Voice:</strong> No, for He is petty and vengeful. Anyway, look at this flawed analogy: <br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438261273309087858" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCdia_YZv7G_b_vQuYIWKWfeLXw8ntG2U8yuRGh-tY4aSZLLYv6Nc6Mcz49B74m9WXHVo-V1mqZy4l1pzc2I4sGzcUtn-929IwqTjwvbyrDsiSJWLqLg1ds1U25aPYnuh9aGvmTjEo0j8/s400/page7.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 226px;" /><br />
<strong>Voice:</strong> God is a holy, <b>righteous judge</b>. He hates sin! Jesus warned that God, in his wrath, will torture anyone who sins <i>even once </i> for all eternity. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Never-ending</span> pain and suffering, with no chance to redeem yourself, because God is justice. A <b>good</b> judge condemns all petty thieves to life in prison. A <b>good</b> judge would demand that anyone who lies about how their girlfriend looks in that dress is sentenced to eternal burning torture forever. Only a <b>corrupt</b> judge would allow some form of scaled penance, where greater crimes mean a greater punishment. Only a <b>good </b>judge would allow someone innocent of all crimes to be given the death sentence in your stead.<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438261277896076962" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNJe8LiF9R8_xcEHjjUSU9pdoxS0CDV7eMRvUOWHQn8fH-nl5bSRL5c8Z7fqYqueKnYdTLMH9bgbj0qYr9e7DurOM32B-rniAorItw8qDz-pI70gHRhP3vsjnZi7QVNRV0crM-jaJ9FRY/s400/page8.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 220px;" /><br />
<strong>Voice:</strong> God loves his people <b>so much</b> that he will torture you forever if you've never heard of him, dismissed him as fictitious, or failed to worship him in this very specific way. He loves you <b>so much</b> that he molded a mortal version of himself - like you might mold a small lump of phlegm into a statuette - and had it born to a human woman, to teach to a very small segment of the middle eastern population before being killed, and then later influencing the creation of some highly contradictory manuscripts, to be selectively chosen for inclusion in a book which even now is still hailed as the ultimate truth. He loves his people <b>so much</b>, that everyone who was born and died before this essential knowledge of having to praise Jesus specifically was even discussed, and also the people who died before Jesus himself was born, will be eternally tortured for their ignorance. Every person who was never reached with this message, tortured forever. Everyone- <br />
<strong>Mr. Nice Guy:</strong> I'm just going to go ahead and rip my heart out, if it's okay with you.<br />
<strong>Voice: </strong>Whatever, fag.<br />
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For more (and much funnier) dissections along these lines, try the brilliant <a href="http://www.enterthejabberwock.com/?cat=12">Enter the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Jabberwork</span></a>!Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-67825815888389599692010-02-14T15:23:00.000-08:002010-03-08T08:02:31.533-08:00Natural BotoxAh, Botox. What a wonder drug! Miracle of modern science, a triumph of chemical engineering and finely honed procedures, brought to perfection by the best scientists in the world, the ultimate solution to the problem of aging!<br />
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Well, not quite. Far from being a miracle of modern science, Botox (or Botulinum Toxin) is a naturally occurring substance, produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum and its close relatives. The most toxic substance known, Botulinum Toxin has an LD50 of 1 nanogram/kilogram, meaning that 90 nanograms would be enough to kill 50% of people weighing 90 kilograms. For another way of looking at it, 500 grams (roughly a pound) of botulinum toxin would be enough to kill half the human population of earth. This toxin and its associated bacteria were (and still occasionally are) found in canned foods, where the gaseous byproducts of the bacteria would cause the can to bulge.<br />
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Scientists did do their part in making Botox the drug it is today, purifying the toxin and testing it as a cure for various muscular-related diseases.<br />
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So, people today use the drug as a cosmetic enhancement - removing face wrinkles and the like. The famed toxicity is still there, however, and apart from the myriad technical ways the procedure can go wrong, like too much paralysis or paralyzing the wrong spot, you can still get a good old poisoning. Besides, the fact that it required qualified medical staff meant that the alternative and natural medicine crowd naturally came to see it as yet another hated 'chemical' to be avoided.<br />
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Cue natural Botox! My first encounter with such an amazing thing came just a few weeks ago - a sign in a health food store shopfront, extolling the virtues of natural botox (no side effects!). They were closed, so I couldn't go in and point out that botox was already a naturally occurring substance, but it did prompt me to look up what such an alternative could be.<br />
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<i>Acupuncture:</i><br />
"Acupuncture is an excellent all natural alternative to Botox injections", or so the internet would have me believe. No qualified specialist inserting pointy things into your skin here, no sir! And none of that disgusting man made stuff, like <a href="http://www.acuneeds.com/needles/needles.aspx?l=l&area=Needles&cat=NSU">steel</a>! No, this is all natural. Completely <a href="http://www.newburyportnews.com/pulife/local_story_289142435">effective</a>, and so much cheaper, too!<br />
<i><br />
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<i>Cucumber:</i><br />
Yum! Well, cucumbers certainly have a lot of water in them (96%), but I'm at a loss as to what other constituents could reduce wrinkles more than temporarily. I'm often heard of them being used as facial masks, seen slices placed over the eyes, and the like, but it seems more like tradition than anything else - no one wants to cite their sources for the effects of cucumber. One site suggests that it's all that Vitamin E (that cucumber lacks) that does it, or the natural oils (negligible). Others say it's all that silica (silicon dioxide), which is good for your skin (which is naturally dehydrating and otherwise inert), as well as the mysterious chemical <a href="http://www.ehow.com/way_5220193_natural-botox-alternative.html">pH</a>. Otherwise, it's vitamin C and caffeic acid doing all the work - which can, quite frankly, be found in much higher amounts than in cucumber. <br />
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<i>Antioxidants and otherwise:</i><br />
Practically every other natural anti-wrinkle treament I can find relies on either rubbing foods rich in vitamins all over your skin, or else rubbing foods rich in antioxidants all over your skin. Well, I wouldn't object, save that eating these foods would be a lot less wasteful and you'd certainly absorb more of the vitamins and antioxidants than you would through skin. Be careful, though, because the adverse effects of overly high levels of vitamins and vitamin toxicity are still not fully understood.Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291899819750722907.post-52178966326503360932010-02-14T14:46:00.000-08:002010-03-13T18:52:29.398-08:00The First PostThings that are wrong begins here.<br />
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Wrong:<br />
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<div align="left"><i>incorrect: not correct; not in conformity with fact or truth; "the claim that homeopathy is helpful is incorrect"</i></div><div align="left"><i>contrary to conscience or morality or law; "it is wrong for alternative medicine practioners, the religious, and commerical enterprises to take advantage of the ignorant"</i></div><br />
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This site shall touch on some of these things.Solomon Steltzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731005958362681242noreply@blogger.com0